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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27969269">DC social media</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nobodythehope/pseuds/Nobodythehope'>Nobodythehope</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>DC social Media [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman - All Media Types, Catwoman (Comics), Harley Quinn (Cartoon 2019), Justice League - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types, Young Justice (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Batcat are good parents, Bruce Wayne Spoils the woman in his life, Comedy, F/F, F/M, Family, Ludeness, Mentions of Sex, social media shenanigan's</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:27:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>31,114</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27969269</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nobodythehope/pseuds/Nobodythehope</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The adventures of DC universes heroes and villains on Twitter, in text messages, and other social media sites.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson, Clark Kent/Lois Lane, More - Relationship, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>DC social Media [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067456</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Dick starts a campaign for Bruce Wayne for president</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25800346">Let the fun commence</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/RRTimDrake/pseuds/RRTimDrake">RRTimDrake</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Inspired by RRTimDrake’s Let the fun begin.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It starts with a Twitter Prank By dick Grayson to get Bruce elected for president Four Years.<br/>(now edited by Grammarly plus)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Behold the hidden world of Heroes and villains on Twitter, private text, videos, and other social media pages.</p><p> </p><p>Twitter</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38 tweets: ok, Twitter, I have a challenge for you. In 4 years, my father will be 35 and eligible to run for President of the United States. Let's make him President of the united states in 2020.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne Official: @YesIAmBruceWayne replied: I do not want to be President old chum, I have enough on my plate already.</p><p> </p><p>Robin@boywonder1 replied: I can get behind this great Gothamite as President. I would vote for him and will be able to vote in 2020 legally.</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359 replied: Bruce Wayne is the most generous man on the planet. He may be airheaded, but he earned 10 Ph.D.'s fluently speaks at least 19 languages, all by the time he turned 25. We need a genius for President.</p><p> </p><p>Batgirl @Batgirl1 replied: I stand for a Wayne in the white house in 2020.</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: I would vote for my dumb cousin</p><p> </p><p>Batman: @Iamvengeance27: Wayne as President that is a terrible idea, Mr. Grayson.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1 replied: Wayne for President 2020 (I want a crack at Wayne Manor =))</p><p> </p><p>Batwoman @ImAm(not)Batman223: Wayne has my vote =))</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197 replied: No way, Dick, I don't get enough time with my boyfriend as it is!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo replied: I would vote for Bruce Wayne</p><p> </p><p>Karen Starr@Downgirl58 replied: he would have my vote =)</p><p> </p><p>Clark Kent@farmboy1 replied: Bruce would have my vote</p><p> </p><p>Pamala Isley@gothamsiren1966: I would vote for Mr. Wayne</p><p> </p><p>Arthur Curry @TheclearO73 replied: The crazy guy would have my vote</p><p> </p><p>Harleen Quinzel@Arkhamdoc1992: I would vote for him.</p><p> </p><p>Mera Curry@Landdweller11 replied: I would vote the same way as my husband on this.</p><p> </p><p>Jackson Hyde@ FakeBlackManta 2010: I would vote for him</p><p> </p><p>Diana Prince@WomanarePowerful8: I would vote for him</p><p> </p><p>Carol Jordan@ OMGHPTM22: I would vote for Wayne</p><p> </p><p>Alexis Kaye @Joker'shostage #89: I would love to vote for Mr. Wayne as my first vote</p><p> </p><p>Lois Lane Kent @Armybrat1repied: I would rather vote for Bruce than Trump.</p><p> </p><p>Donna Troy @camragirl60 replied: I would vote for Mr. Wayne =)</p><p> </p><p>Jason Garrick@OlProf22: I would vote for the kid.</p><p> </p><p>Barry Allen@SloMo4: He has my vote</p><p> </p><p>Hilary Tenny@HelPOmISL23: Wayne 2020</p><p> </p><p>Iris Allen@Copsdaughter4: He has my vote</p><p> </p><p>Wally West@KidSlomo110: My first vote will be for him</p><p> </p><p>Allen Scott@greenmetalworker16: He has this old fuddy-duddy vote</p><p> </p><p>Megan Morse @HelloMeganGigaFan: I would vote for Mr. Wayne =)</p><p> </p><p>Garth Guk @Gotham4Lif123: Gothamite for President…Gotham might finally get cleaned up with that kinda power in our hands.</p><p> </p><p>Guy Gardner@Bartender59: He has this bartender's vote</p><p> </p><p>Martha Kent@TheFirstMartha1: I would vote for the Nice boy.</p><p> </p><p>KaraDanvers@lostgirl252: I would vote for Mr. Wayne</p><p> </p><p>Tora Olafsdotter: MycoldFeet12: I vote him for yes.</p><p> </p><p>Ted Grant @Offical Ted Wildcat Grant: My student has my vote.</p><p> </p><p>Hal Jordan@ commitmentissues22: I would vote Wayne.</p><p> </p><p>Dinah Queen @pritybird220: I would vote for Bruce =)</p><p> </p><p>Jessica Cruz@InsideGoodFive30: He has this gals vote</p><p> </p><p>John Jones@ MiddletonPI225: I would vote for Mr. Wayne</p><p> </p><p>Shiera Saunders@NewBlackhawks1: He has my vote</p><p> </p><p>GothamIsNIght @NightisGotham: first Gotham president of the united states: Bruce Wayne</p><p> </p><p>Ted Kord: TedkordOffical: He has my vote.</p><p> </p><p>Oli Queen: @ fromLianYuDao1: Bruce has my vote</p><p> </p><p>Justice league private messenger</p><p> </p><p>Hawkwoman to everyone but Batman: did everyone see Robins tweet?</p><p>Everyone: yes</p><p>Hawkwoman: should we get behind it using our superhero personas to bug the Big Bad Bat?</p><p>Everyone: (devil)=)</p><p> </p><p>Twitter:</p><p> </p><p>Superman@manoftommorow1938replyed: I will vote for Bruce Wayne. He is a great man.</p><p> </p><p>Diana Of Themyscira@ WonderWoman77: I would be proud if America had Mr. Wayne as its President.</p><p> </p><p>Wonder Woman @TheFirstWonderWoman: I agree with my successor</p><p> </p><p>Hippolyta @OfficalQueenoftheAmazons: I agree with my daughter</p><p> </p><p>Wildcat@OldYoda1: I would vote for him</p><p> </p><p>Aquaman: ITalkToTheWater2016: He has my vote</p><p> </p><p>Tide Breaker @Aquawoman49: and mine as well</p><p> </p><p>Orin@ OfficialKingOfAtlantis: The king of the 7 seas agrees with the Queen of the Amazons. I would love to have Mr. Wayne as President.</p><p> </p><p>Mera@ OfficalQueenOfAtlantis: I agree with my husband, Orin.</p><p> </p><p>Aqualad @Humbleone4: He has my vote</p><p> </p><p>Tempest: StormKing8: I support my king's decision… even though Atlantis is now a democracy.</p><p> </p><p>Flash@OldSchoolFlash1940: He has this old speedsters vote.</p><p> </p><p>FlashII@Flashpoint2011: Flash fact: Mr. Wayne would be a great president. He has this flashes vote as well =)</p><p> </p><p>Kid Flash@FastestboyAlive50: I will vote for him</p><p> </p><p>Artemis: I will vote for Mr. Wayne</p><p> </p><p>Ice @ILikeGreenLanterIII12: I will vote for Mr. Wayne</p><p> </p><p>Booster Gold @BlueNGoldGold1: I would vote for Bruce.</p><p> </p><p>Fire @MeltyouHot46: I vote Wayne 2020</p><p> </p><p>Blue Beetle IIV@BlueNGoldBlue83: Wayne 2020</p><p> </p><p>Hawkwoman@EatmyMace1: I would vote for Bruce Wayne</p><p> </p><p>Miss Martian @ IchoseGreen37: I will vote Wayne 2020</p><p> </p><p>Green Lantern@GoldenAgeGreen7: Wayne will bring us back to the Golden Age. He has my vote.</p><p> </p><p>Green Lantern V: LadyLanter2814: I vote Wayne 2020</p><p> </p><p>Green Lantern 4: MarineGreen2814 I vote Wayne 2020</p><p> </p><p>Green Lantern III: SinestrosRingSucks2814: Vote Wayne 2020 Ya mooks</p><p> </p><p>Green lantern II@flyinghighZero: Vote Wayne with the Green Lantern Corps in 2020</p><p> </p><p>Star Sapphire @PreditorsLight22: The Star Sapphires agree with the Green Lanterns Wayne for President.</p><p> </p><p>Carol Ferris @CarolFarrisofficial: I plan to vote for Bruce</p><p> </p><p>Green arrow@YouHaveFaildThisCity250: I vote Wayne 2020</p><p> </p><p>Captain Atom@ Monarch33: Wayne has this career soldiers vote</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne Official: @YesIAmBruceWayne: Richard John Grayson, you are grounded for two months (pissed off emoji)!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: I am not bailing you out of this time, Richard (angry cat emoji)!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Harley Quin@JokerGagesonBmansGFC1999: I would vote for Msta W</p><p> </p><p>Poison Ivy@Gaia181: I would vote for Mr. Wayne. Everyone knows his environmentally conscious management of Wayne Enterprises has Poison Ivy's stamp of approval.</p><p> </p><p>Supergirl@BeingSuper8: I will vote for Mr. Wayne as my first vote =)</p><p> </p><p>Batman: @Iamvengeance27: Do you realize what you all have done?</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Lois Lane @bestreporter1938: Breaking news, the entire justice league just supported Bruce Wayne for President in 2020. What started as a tweet from Bruce Wayne's adopted son Richard Grayson had gone viral when Superman endorsed the…(more)</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p>A text message from Selina Kyles W-phone</p><p> </p><p>Cat: I want to kill your kid, can I? I can steal a shovel, and we can bury his corps in his empty grave. No one would ever think to look there.</p><p>Bat: I would love to, but we just can't cross that line. So Dinner at Tony's Italian restaurant tonight? I am making Dick and Babs handle Gordan for the next week should the  Signal come on as I could use a vacation =)</p><p> </p><p>Cat: I am not volunteering today. I have no ‘crimes’ planed tonight either (very explicit emoji-based text here.)</p><p> </p><p>Bat: …why am I working? I am leaving the office now (devil smiley emoji here)</p><p> </p><p>Cat: My place, do not want to risk Alfred walking in on us, again. We are starting on the roof (evil smiley here). Make sure you pick up several boxes of condoms, Bat. We are not leaving my apartment for a week. (angel smiley here)</p><p> </p><p>Bat: (goofy grin emoji) will do. I am also Picking up chicken parmesan from Tony's Italian restaurant with a side of garlic bread. =)</p><p>Cat: (Drooling emoji) we are eating first. You're going to need your strength. =)</p><p> </p><p>A week later:</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: I finally graduated from Highschool, time for college, and I Will be attending Gotham University and am moving out of the manor to share an apartment with my lovely girlfriend Barbara Gordan =))</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: so all you lusty bitches at Gotham, U better stay away from my man. ( angry emoji and glare emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: Make sure you use protection, Old chum, because I am not protecting you from Commissioner Gordon if Babs ends up pregnant. And you're not moving out till your grounding is up</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: I won't protect you ether Dick.</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: We always use protection. Come on, Bruce, we do not pussygate you and Selina. (frown emoji)</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Robin@boywonder1: After some thinking on this for a long time, I feel it's time for a change. I am going to be hanging up the scale panties,  changing my name from Robin to Nightwing, and will be closing this account. You can find all your former boy wonder needs at Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368 From now on. However, there is also a new Robin in town fallow him at Robin @2ndwonder</p><p> </p><p>Robin @2ndwonder: it's an honor to become the next robin (smile emoji). I will outshine the original (evil smile emoji)</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne Official: @YesIAmBruceWayne: Yes, I have adopted another son. His name is Jason Todd, and I caught him trying to lift my tires. However, I did co-adopt him with my longtime girlfriend, Selina Kyle, who is moving in with me.</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: That's right, ladies Bruce Wayne is off the market. (smug emoji grin.)</p><p> </p><p>Jason Todd @CrowbarsRuwl407: Also, my new Mom is cooler than my new dad.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>J.L. Finch@Daliygossip81: Just in serial playboy Bruce Wayne has just asked his girlfriend of five months to move in with him, his adopted son dick Grayson is moving out of the manor and in with his long time girlfriend, Barbara… More</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p>A text message from Lois lane to Selina Kyle:</p><p>Army Brat: How has Dick not figured that secret yet?</p><p>Ally-cat: Bruce and I are good actors. However, I do not think that's it. He has caught us several times over the years on Gotham's rooftops. I honestly think he believes we just have an uncountable number of booty calls as Bruce did stop dating after we adopted Dick. We also have not informed him I am Catwoman, and we hid his not dating by abusing a Smart Mask. (evil kitty grin emoji) both of us.</p><p>Army-brat: Honestly, I would say Bruce is a lousy teacher if Clark did not think the same thing. Then again, that boy is easily distracted by a redhead, and he has been chasing and then dating a spunky one since you took him.</p><p>Ally cat: what Clark does not know. Men can be so stupid glad I bagged me the smartest one on the planet.</p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>11 PM Robin @2ndwonder to Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368: I think Catwoman has captured Batman, but I am not sure if he needs my help, and I thought Catwoman was on our side.</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368: What's going on?</p><p>Robin @2ndwonder: well, Batman is smiling at Catwoman, who is wearing her first (Silver Age) costume. Should I stop this for you know whose sake or leave? I also do not want to cock block Batman, however…</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW, TRUST ME YOU NEVER FOUND THEM, YOU NEVER EVEN SAW THEM TOGETHER, GET OUT NOW BEFORE YOUR TRAUMATIZED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Robin @2ndwonder: (scared emoji) Too late I just screamed stop when Catwoman started pulling B's pants down, and they see me and there not T-Rex’s. If I die tonight, I ask that you only avenge me.</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368: Be brave little brother. I am on my… Shit, I just got spotted by penguins goons… I will check on you when I am done with them… there are more than usual.</p><p> </p><p>Three hours later</p><p> </p><p>Robin @2ndwonder: I am ALIVE, but traumatized. (Traumatized emoji)</p><p> </p><p>An hour ago</p><p> </p><p>Text message between Jason Todd and Dick Grayson</p><p> </p><p>Dick: Are you still alive?</p><p> </p><p>Jason: 0_0 They gave me the talk. With diagrams, pictures, and advice on how to pay attention and please a woman. Did you know Selina is Catwoman? Cause I sure did not, I almost walked in on my new Mom and Dad having sex on the roof (vomiting emoji here)</p><p> </p><p>Dick: You got lucky, Jaybird. Batgirl and I ha… wait WHAT THE FUCK, SELINA KYLE IS CATWOMAN!!!!!…that actually explains a lot.</p><p> </p><p>Robin: Well, at least I can say I learned something before you did =)… 0_0please tell me they do not have sex on the rooftops of Gotham often.</p><p> </p><p>Dick: (Thinking emoji) I am not going to lie to you. If you see Batman with Catwoman and there are not other rouges or thugs or henchs around, it's best to run away as quietly as possible. Especially now that we know who Catwoman is.</p><p> </p><p>Jason: FUCK!!!!... Gotham just got a bit grosser than ever.</p><p> </p><p>A week later:</p><p>Justice league instant messenger:</p><p>Batman to Hawkwoman: you should apply to be a US citizen. I will endorse you as Bruce Wayne.</p><p>Hawkwoman: Well, sure, why not? I have been studying for the test anyway. The first official Thanagarian citizen of the United States sounds good.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Rager on Themyscira</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bruce Wayne is forced to attend an Amazonian Rager on Themyscira with and drink at it. His 'girlfriend' Selina Kyle comes as his protector...things happen.<br/>( now edited with Grammarly premium)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shiera Saunders @NewBlackhawks1 (shares a picture of her US SSC with the number blocked off) It's official I am the first Thanagarian refugee to be granted US citizenship (grinning proud smiley face emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Diana Prince@WomanarePowerful8: Congratulations, Shiera. Allow me to celebrate your achievement in the traditional Amazonian manner.</p><p> </p><p>Harleen Quinzel@Arkhamdoc1992: you're going to throw a fucking rager to end all ragers, right?</p><p> </p><p>Hippolyta @OfficalQueenoftheAmazons: no, WE ARE GOING TO THROW A Fucking RAGER THAT PUTS ANY THE GODS HAVE PUT ON TO SHAME!!! AND WE ARE GOING TO GET BRUCE WAYNE DRUNK!!!!!! And I am paying for it all, Shiera, so do not worry about anything. We will also have presents for you. =)</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: I demand a plus one with my invite.</p><p> </p><p>Text message:</p><p> </p><p>Bat: You need to protect me at an Amazon RAGER. I am being forced to attend till ….and then drink at.</p><p> </p><p>Cat: Where is it going to be?</p><p> </p><p>Bat: On Themyscira</p><p> </p><p>Cat: …BRB</p><p>Twitter:</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: I am invited to that party, right?</p><p> </p><p>Hippolyta @OfficalQueenoftheAmazons: Of course, my last student is invited to the upcoming RAGER =)</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: Then I am Bruce's plus one.</p><p> </p><p>Donna Troy @camragirl60: Selina is your student???</p><p> </p><p>Hippolyta @OfficalQueenoftheAmazons: I trained her in the Amazonian fighting style and taught her how to apply our techniques of 'loving submission.'</p><p> </p><p>Text:</p><p> </p><p>Cat: I just bought a tattoo gun. We need to get you properly marked up for the RAGER.</p><p> </p><p>Bat: Why am I getting a tattoo when I have the scratch marks you gave me for all to see?</p><p> </p><p>Cat: Those horny bitches on Themyscira have not seen a man in 10 years, they have not seen a man who is a propper warrior, with your scars and physique in 4,000 years, I am giving you a tramp stamp that says property of Selina Kyle, be happy I am only going to be using a sharpie to write it on your big ol Batarang.</p><p> </p><p>Bat: Then I am tattooing my emblem on your right ass cheek.</p><p> </p><p>Cat: Deal, We are also packing condoms. I want to fuck you drunk.</p><p> </p><p>Bat: Me being drunk is a black unicorn with my symbol in pink in its chest fur. Enjoy it because you will likely never see it again.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Text message between Harleen quin and Queen Hippolyta.</p><p> </p><p>Crazy Blond Bitch: Ivy and I are invited to the rager, right?</p><p> </p><p>Queeny: of course you two are. You guys saved my sweet ass from a marriage with that slimy asshat Lex Luther.</p><p> </p><p>Crazy Blond Bitch: =)) See you there.</p><p> </p><p>Twitter The Day before the rager</p><p> </p><p>Hippolyta Prince@GoldenAgeWoman8: I finally got to meet the man that my daughter has a crush on, the same man with my martial arts student is 'dating.' I now get why they like him. He is charming and handsome with a body worthy of sculpture, far better than that man slut Zeus's ever was.</p><p> </p><p>Diana Prince@WomanarePowerful8: (embarrassed emoji) I do not have a crush on Bruce Wayne.</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: Yes, you do have a crush on my boyfriend. It just shows you actually have good taste in men, even though you dated the farm boy.</p><p> </p><p>Shiera Saunders @NewBlackhawks1: you do have a crush on the rich boy Diana,</p><p> </p><p>Donna Troy @camragirl60: Diana, you have always been crushing on Wayne. Man, I wish I could be with you. Tomorrow's rager sounds like it's going to be epic—stupid college.</p><p> </p><p>Diana Prince@WomanarePowerful8: you are only 19, So you better not be drinking, young lady.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>The Rager Twitter</p><p> </p><p>6 PM Bruce Wayne Official: @YesIAmBruceWayne: it is an honor to be the first man invited to the island of Themyscira, and I am currently enjoying a bottle of Highland Park scotch with my lovely girlfriend. (includes a picture of him and Selina drinking her favorite whiskey.)</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Mera@ OfficalQueenOfAtlantis: it nies to get aay fom the hushbnd for a nit, the amons sure know how party.</p><p>(translation: It's nice to get away from the husband for a night, the amazons sure know how to party)</p><p>Orin@ OfficialKingOfAtlantis: Mera, how much have you drank?</p><p> </p><p>Mera@ OfficalQueenOfAtlantis: onwe fiws bers (weard random emoji)</p><p>(Translation: Just a few (three) beers)</p><p>Martha Kent@TheFirstMartha1: Orin, My boy, your wife is a lightweight and just went out like a light, and I agree with her. It's nice to get away from the husband for a night. It's been so long since I last let my hair down. I am glad Lois could not make it since and let this old girl take her place. Now I need to show these warriors just why you do not try to out-drink a woman from Kansas!</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Jessica Cruz@InsideGoodFive30: I hate going outside after what happened. However, I am so glad I decided to come with my good friend @NewBlackhawks1 to Themyscira the island is so beautiful, and they have the best cocktails I have ever had.</p><p> </p><p>Martha Kent@TheFirstMartha1: Jess, do you want in on the drinking contest?</p><p> </p><p>Jessica Cruz@InsideGoodFive30: No, I just to get a good buzz going. I do not want to get blackout drunk.</p><p>Carol Jordan@ OMGHPTM22: I am glad you're having fun, Jess. I wish I was there and would be if not for the baby. When is Hal do back again?</p><p> </p><p>Jessica Cruz@InsideGoodFive30: His rotation is over next week. Remember I got twenty bucks on him passing out at the news to your 20,000.</p><p> </p><p>Carol Jordan@ OMGHPTM22: I cant wait to be 20 bucks richer =) you sucker.</p><p> </p><p>8 PM</p><p> </p><p>Poison Ivy@Gaia181: 0_0 I just watched some old lady from Kansas out drink 18 amazons in a drinking contest. It is now down to her and Antiope, the head of the army.</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: What's the old lady's name?</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: ya, who is the old lady from Kansas?</p><p>(real world: It could not be?)</p><p> </p><p>Sara Essen Gordan @AmItOmAnLyFoRYoU405: Who is this Wonder Woman from Kansas?</p><p> </p><p>Clark Kent @farmboy1: …It cant be?</p><p> </p><p>Lois Lane Kent @Armybrat1: well, Clark, your mother is there, and Honey, why are you following Poison Ivy after what happened last time you met her? (angry emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Clark Kent @farmboy1: why are YOU following Poison Ivy?</p><p> </p><p>Lois Lane Kent @Armybrat1: Because of what she did last time, and you are on the Couch for two days, Smallville!!!</p><p> </p><p>20 min later</p><p> </p><p>Poison Ivy@Gaia181: Antiope just went down, and the Kansas Wonder Woman's Name is Martha Kent… She also gave me what seems like a lovely recipe for rhubarb pie. I can't wait to try it.</p><p> </p><p>Frank @IAmaHouSeplanT1: Good, your rhubarb has been gettin fuckin uppity Ivy.</p><p> </p><p>Poison Ivy@Gaia181: Bethany is Not UPITY frank.</p><p> </p><p>Frank @IAmaHouSeplanT1: Yes, she is.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>12 AM Harley Quin@JokerGagesonBmansGFC1999: Me and my lady Ivy are enjoying the epic rager on Themyscira. We also saw Wonder Woman, Bruce Wayne, his girlfriend Selina Kyle, and the Amazons' Queen slip away together.</p><p> </p><p>Batwoman @ImAm(not)Batman223: I got 100 bucks that say the playboy gets lucky with all three of them, The Luck Fucker. I wish I was there and not stuck watching Gotham with The bird boys and Batgirl. Are all the Amazons really as hot as The two Wonder Women?</p><p> </p><p>Harley Quin@JokerGagesonBmansGFC1999: You are on Batlady. Wonder Woman and Queeny have way higher standards than Brucie Wayne. Even if I would vote for him to be president!!! And Fuck ya, they are. But Ivy is ways hotter than any of them.</p><p> </p><p>Huntress1 @BatCat6911: ewww.</p><p> </p><p>Huntress1 @BatCat6911: Shit, ignore my comment.</p><p> </p><p>Poison Ivy@Gaia181: Aww, thanks, Harls, you are hotter than any of them too.</p><p> </p><p>Harper Row @tinkerer7withstuf: 0_0 Batwoman fallows Harley Quinn on Twitter 0_0</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: 0_0Like total shocker totally (open moth emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Batwoman @ImAm(not)Batman223: It's the best way to keep track of these crazy bitches.</p><p> </p><p>Renee Montoya @Ask the Question9: She speaks the truth.</p><p> </p><p>New Black canary @Birdofprey86: Great minds think alike, girls.</p><p> </p><p>Harley Quin@JokerGagesonBmansGFC1999: Hay, I can't deny that statement, except to say I am on my medication.</p><p> </p><p>Huntress @Itsacrossbow1989 to Huntress1 @BatCat6911: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?</p><p> </p><p>Huntress1 @BatCat6911: I like you. You got anger issues =)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>6 AM Harley Quin@JokerGagesonBmansGFC1999: (picture of  Bruce, Selina, and both wonder woman are lying naked in Hippolyta's large bed. Selina is lying on top of Bruce, her arms around his neck as if saying mine. Well, Diana is laying her head on his left shoulder, and Hippolyta on his right.) Fuck I own Batwoman 100 bucks. They did not use protection. How does Bruce not have any bio kids? You can't see it from this angle, but all three of those lucky bitch's got filled up in both holes…now I kind of want to try to fuck Bruce Wayne. I see why Selina stays with the airhead. (blushing emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Poison Ivy@Gaia181: you're not the only one. 0_0 (lip lick emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Huntress1 @BatCat6911: My EYES CANT GOUGE THEM OUT FAST ENOUGH.</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: WERE DID I PUT THE MENTAL DENTAL FLOSS</p><p> </p><p>Jason Todd @CrowbarsRuwl407: WEREDOES ALFRED KEEP THE BRAIN BLEACH</p><p> </p><p>Batwoman @ImAm(not)Batman223: (big grinding emoji and dollar sigh eyes emoji)…lucky bastard (jealous emoji).</p><p> </p><p>Renee Montoya @Ask the Question9: I agree lucky bastard would love just a chance at one of those fine ladies. You two peeked at his junk, didn't you, Ivy, Harley.</p><p> </p><p>Harley Quin@JokerGagesonBmansGFC1999: yes, 0_0 it is HUGE.</p><p> </p><p>Poison Ivy@Gaia181: Big as a fucking large cucumber. Harley, we need to go to bed NOW!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: =)) You better keep me happy and satisfied Dicky boy, or I will make it my mission to get a revenge fuck from your father!!! (evil laughter emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359:… =)and my boyfriend is now eating me out(drooling emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Harley Quin@JokerGagesonBmansGFC1999: Red, where did you get that colossal cucumber?</p><p> </p><p>Poison Ivy@Gaia181: You should be asking where this cucumber is going (smirk emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Harley Quin@JokerGagesonBmansGFC1999: (blushing grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Batwoman @ImAm(not)Batman223: Why are the two of you tweeting this?</p><p> </p><p>Harley Quin@JokerGagesonBmansGFC1999: We Do not want to risk waking these four up.</p><p> </p><p>Batwoman @ImAm(not)Batman223: Smart.</p><p> </p><p>Batwoman @ImAm(not)Batman223: Who the fuck are you Huntress1 @BatCat6911?</p><p> </p><p>Huntress1 @BatCat6911: (shifty eyes emoji) Nobody important.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Text message between Helena Wayne and Karen Starr:</p><p> </p><p>Kara: I suddenly want to sleep with your Not-dad.</p><p> </p><p>Helena: (vomiting emoji) Kara, you're my best friend. However… if you ever say that again or try to make that happen and I will kill you slow. Red sunlight still depowers you in this universe, and I can break into Lexcorp to get the materials I need just as easily as I break into Wayne Industries.</p><p> </p><p>Kara: (wide-eyed emoji) ok, will not bring it up again and will not try. It's not worth having my best friend try to kill me.</p><p> </p><p>Kara: I got us reservations at that sushi place you like in Tokyo.</p><p> </p><p>Helena: You are forgiven =)</p><p> </p><p>Kara: (relieved emoji)</p><p> </p><p>The morning after the party</p><p> </p><p>Deleted audio recording from Bruce Wayne's W-Phone:</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: (sounding amused)well, I guess this is your birthday gift this year cause, Bruce, we just fucked the Amazon Royal Family Batman. (upset)and forgot the god damn condoms in our room.</p><p> </p><p>Batman: It was your idea.</p><p> </p><p>Hippolyta: (wakes up) Fuck I needed that after Zeus's disappointing performance. You are the best lover I have ever had, Batman. You're great to Selina.</p><p> </p><p>Diana: What the fuck did I do last night? I only had one and a half bottles of tequila; I was not that drunk.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: Well, Wonder Bread, you had a four-way with your mother, Batman, and Catwoman. (grin)How does Batman compare to Superman?</p><p> </p><p>Hippolyta: I would like to know to daughter, who is the superior lover?</p><p> </p><p>Diana: (in a soft flustered voice) Batman way outclassed Superman in size, girth, performance, and stamina… Fuck I can't have Batman again, can I?</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: You read his Batarang and tramp stamp property of Selina (audio dropped), so no, you do not get Batman again. However, as this is his birthday gift that will apply once we are off the island, Bat mount up on me. Well, I eat your cum out of both these Royal Bitches for breakfast.</p><p> </p><p>Batman: Yes, Meowstress. Why is my phone unlocked under Diana's left ass cheek? Duck, my phone is recording this. Thank god it’s only on the audio recording mode.</p><p> </p><p>Audio file ends</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Three days later</p><p> </p><p>Twitter</p><p> </p><p>9 PM Harper Row @tinkerer7withstuf: First Batwoman crashed through the window when my asshole father was beating me. (It was amazing to watch her give my father a heaping helping of bat justice) It looked like my brother and I would be going into Gotham city's foster care system (horror emoji). That’s when Bruce Wayne's cousin Katherine Kane shows up at the police station offering to foster us. We said yes, and now I am sitting in her swanky Cherry Hill penthouse. 0_0</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: Awe-some, I am happy for you, bestie. I am glad you two finally got away from that fucker. I will testify to seeing your bruises, and so will my Mom.</p><p> </p><p>Harper Row @tinkerer7withstuf: Thanks, Steph. Once we get settled, you are going to be the first one over to this place.</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: Your friend can come over tomorrow if you want, Harper =).</p><p> </p><p>Harper Row @tinkerer7withstuf:0_0, you follow me?</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: yes, I have been since your first post. I was the first to comment on it. You can check if you want. I love the videos of you fixing things; you are one talented girl. If you need or want to talk about what your father did to you and your brother, my door will always be open. If I am out, you have my phone number do not hesitate to call me, ok.</p><p> </p><p>Harper Row @tinkerer7withstuf: Can we talk now?</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: Of course, I am in my room.</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: aww (teary-eyed emoji, angry emoji) Spoiler warning: you ever hurt my best friend, I will hurt you, Miss Kane.</p><p> </p><p> Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: =) I like you, Miss Brown.</p><p> </p><p>Earlier in the day Text message between Selina Kyle and Bruce Wayne</p><p> </p><p>Cat: Can I kill Harley?</p><p> </p><p>Bat: (Thinking emoji) no, but you can kick her ass if you want.</p><p> </p><p>Cat: Does she have any warrants out for her arrest?</p><p> </p><p>Bat: Yes, yes, She does, so does Pamala. Wanna make a date out of it?</p><p> </p><p>Cat: (devil smile emoji) Get us a reservation at the Jade dragon afterword I am hungry for Chinese.</p><p> </p><p>Bat: Done, do you want to drive the Batmobile?</p><p> </p><p>Cat: (big grin emoji) Oh Ya, Kitty wants to drive tonight, and she is going to ride you on a roof later tonight after dinner.</p><p> </p><p>Bat: (big grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p> …</p><p> </p><p>10 PM</p><p> </p><p>Encrypted Phone call Diana Prince to Bruce Wayne</p><p> </p><p>Diana: Bruce, I really want to kill Harley Quin and Poison Ivy.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce: Not in my city, besides Catwoman, and I just arrested them.</p><p>(Audio distortions)</p><p>Selina: Sorry, Diana, but if I can't kill them, you can't either. So how's your mother taking the tweet.</p><p> </p><p>Diana: (Embarrassed voice) With satisfied pride. Say since…</p><p> </p><p>Selina: No, this kitty does not share; what happened on the island was because we were drunk, and I decided to let it be Bruce's birthday gift.</p><p> </p><p>Diana: Stingy batarang hog.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: You got that right. Now we are on the way to Jade Dragon, so you are so interrupting a date. If you have nothing else, go Jill off to your memory.</p><p> </p><p>Diana: Fuck you, Catwoma… hello, hello. That, she hung up on me.</p><p> </p><p>Phone call Kate Kane to Selina Kyle</p><p> </p><p>Bruce: Hello Kate, Selina stole my phone from me and is talking to Diana right now, so she will be a minute.</p><p> </p><p>Kate:  (trying to quiet) I am glad you answered Bruce, as I was trying to get ahold of you, I need help.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: Bruce, who are you talking to on my phone.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce: It’s Kate. She needs help.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: Put it on speaker.</p><p> </p><p>Audio shifts.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce (Batman's voice): What is it you need.</p><p> </p><p>Kate: Help fast-tracking a pair of adoptions.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce: sp (coughing fit)</p><p> </p><p>Selina: Bruce just swallowed coffee down the wrong tube, maybe start at the beginning.</p><p> </p><p>Kate: (somewhat panicky but still being quiet) Well, I was patrolling the East End when I got lucky and saw a gutless son of a bastard beat his twelve-year-old daughter, and as Batwoman, I intervened, and he is now in the prison ward of Gotham general. After hearing the horror stories from Selina about Gotham's Foster Care System well, I could not leave a twelve-year-old girl with a history of abuse and her younger brother to fall into that nightmare, So I offered to foster them as Kate Kane. However, the girl is so much like me. She is tough as nails, Brilliant, and so strong.</p><p>She wanted to talk about what she went threw so we started talking. After a bit, Harper broke down and started crying in my arms. It just woke up my maternal instincts, she is sleeping on my lap now, and I am running my hands through her hair. I'm going to make Harper, my daughter, and her brother my son. I know it will make it harder for me to operate as Batwoman, and I do not care. Bruce, if you can be happy and Batman, I can be both mother and Batwoman, but I do not know how to get the process started. The two of you have adopted two kids. Please help me, Obi-wan Kenobi; you're my only hope!</p><p> </p><p>Selina: We will get a bit of everything off the Jade Dragons menu, and we will be there in about an hour; Bruce is already getting the order phoned in.</p><p> </p><p>Call between a burner phone between Batwoman and Detective Montoya</p><p> </p><p>Batwoman: Detective Montoya, the purp I put in the prison ward of Gotham general last night, he is a child beater.</p><p> </p><p>Montoya: Not for much longer, Bat-chicha.  </p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>A week later, Twitter</p><p> </p><p>Harper Row @tinkerer7withstuf: 0_0 …MY BROTHER I JUST OFFICIALLY GOT ADOPTED BY KATE KANE…WE ARE NOW MEMBERS OF THE ELITE OF GOTHAM HIGH SOCIETY, AND I AM NO LONGER A ROW!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE CONGRATULATIONS BESTIE.</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: They will be attending Gotham academy next fall…</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: =( Harper deserves it she is smart enough that a good school will like Fastrack her =(</p><p> </p><p>Harper Kane @tinkerer7withstuf: Sorry Steph (ashamed emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: (smirk emoji) I hear my daughters best friend wants to be a doctor…and that she will be attending Gotham Academy on a private scholarship next fall as well =)</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: 0_0 your jokeing?</p><p> </p><p>Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: Come here for a min Steph.</p><p> </p><p>Harper Kane @tinkerer7withstuf: What did your Mom want?</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: (smirking emoji) Wait for it.</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: AHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  I AM LIKE SO GOING TO GOTHAM ACADEMY WITH MY BESTIE  THIS FALLL (Shares selfie of her mother and herself holding a full private scholarship to the expensive academy)</p><p> </p><p>Frank @IAmaHouSeplanT1: (teary-eyed emoji) ITS JUST LIKE THE BABYSITTERS CLUB (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Jade Nguyen @IhateSportsmaster1 to @IAmaHouSeplanT1: I KNOW (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Artemis Crock @ IHateSportsmaster2010 to Jade Nguyen @IhateSportsmaster1: HOLY FUCKING SHIT JADE YOUR ON TWITTER?</p><p> </p><p>Jade Nguyen @IhateSportsmaster1: of course I am, baby sister. (evil smirk emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Will Harper @ CloneWars2010 to @IhateSportsmaster1: We are out of milk.</p><p> </p><p>Artemis Crock @ IHateSportsmaster2010: Your fucking living with Will!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Jade Nguyen @IhateSportsmaster1: To Artemis Crock @ IHateSportsmaster2010: No, I married him… you're going to be an aunt.</p><p> </p><p>Artemis Crock @ IHateSportsmaster2010: 0_0…DOES MOM KNOW…SHOULD WE KILL DAD?</p><p> </p><p>Will Harper @ CloneWars2010: NO KILLING FAMILY…after publicly asking if you should.</p><p> </p><p>Helena Bertinelli @mobprincess1 to Jade Nguyen @IhateSportsmaster1: YOUR PREGNANT!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Jade Nguyen @IhateSportsmaster1: Yes, we have established that already, Helena.</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38 to Will Harper @ CloneWars2010: WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU TWO FIND THE TIME TO WHAT THE FUCK?</p><p> </p><p>Wally West@KidSlomo110: 0_0</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: Will Harper, you broke my boyfriend ON DATE NIGHT. I AM COMING FOR YOU!!!! (angry emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Jade Nguyen @IhateSportsmaster1 To Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: BRING IT ON BITCH ITS 3 ON 1!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359 To Jade Nguyen @IhateSportsmaster1: I like you.</p><p> </p><p>Daily planet online</p><p> </p><p>Kane adopts Row Siblings</p><p> </p><p>Article by Lois Lane</p><p> </p><p>It seems Katherine Kane has caught adopt fever from her cousin Bruce Wayne. Miss Kane just adopted two abused children who rescued from their abusive father by Batwoman last week, and…(click for more information)</p><p> </p><p>Twitter</p><p> </p><p>Tim Drake @ILovecoffee43: I got some great shots of the dynamic duo so far tonight. I will share the pics later tonight.</p><p> </p><p>Tim Drake @ILovecoffee436: 0_0 What the fuck did I just watch Batman and Catwoman duo?</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: Tell me the rumors are true, and BatCat get it on the rooftops.</p><p> </p><p>Batman: @Iamvengeance27 to Tim Drake @ILovecoffee436: Why are you taking pictures of Robin and me?</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1: why do you think I went from super thief to superhero (satisfied grin). You better not have taken any photos of our rooftop fun, little boy, or I will find you.</p><p> </p><p>Batwoman @ImAm(not)Batman223: Catwoman, how do you two not have 10 children, I lost count of how many times I caught you two going at it on a roof.</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368:… I would like to know too(sick emoji face)</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1: He keeps condoms on his utility belt, and I am on the pill.</p><p> </p><p>Batgirl @Batgirl1: I go the other way when they are idle on a roof (grossed out emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Robin @2ndwonder: the trama, you had to bring up the trauma (vomiting emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Huntress @Itsacrossbow1989: It’s hot as fuck and fun to watch (dirty grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Huntress1 @BatCat6911: (green face emoji) THEY HAVE ALWAYS DONE TO MUCH PDA!!!!!!(vomit emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368 to Huntress1 @BatCat6911: WHO ARE YOU (glare emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Huntress1 @BatCat6911: no comment</p><p> </p><p>Renee Montoya @Ask the Question9: I arrested them for Indecent exposer 9 times. However, they always escaped custody before I could get them to the station.</p><p> </p><p>Harvey bullock @ Badge#0441:5 times for me</p><p> </p><p>Sara Essen Gordan @AmItOmAnLyFoRYoU405: 16 times in the last year, 52 total since returning to Gotham</p><p> </p><p>James Gordan @marine4Life27: I  never tried to arrest them. However, I once caught them on the bat signal.  </p><p> </p><p>Superman@manoftommorow1938: I learned to block out Gotham when I hear them together.</p><p> </p><p>Poison Ivy@Gaia181: I caught them going at it a few times. Once in my greenhouse.</p><p> </p><p>Frank @IAmaHouSeplanT1: That was fascinating to watch.</p><p> </p><p>Harley Quin@JokerGagesonBmansGFC1999: Same.</p><p> </p><p>Supergirl@BeingSuper8: it's free, Hehehehe. (Giggle emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Powergirl@Up,Up,and,away1a6 to Supergirl@BeingSuper8: Yes, Yes it is hmmm (lip licking emoji) ever think to use x-ray?</p><p> </p><p>Supergirl@BeingSuper8: (blush emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Superboy@TheManofSteel500: I have seen them doing it on the Daily Planet’s Sphere once(Thinking emoji). Why they were on the top, I do not understand.</p><p> </p><p>Harper Kane @tinkerer7withstuf: (jaw drop and blush emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Ted Grant @Offical Ted Wildcat Grant: I caught them doing it in my gym once. I had to buy a new ring.</p><p> </p><p>Green arrow @YouHaveFaildThisCity250: they did it in my Arrow Mobile once just to spite me… so I did it with BC in the Batmobile to get back at Bats =)</p><p> </p><p>New Black canary @Birdofprey86: We should do that again (lip licking emoji). Medical mode so convenient…we need to add that to the Arrow Mobile  </p><p> </p><p>Star Sapphire @PreditorsLight22: I caught them once in the Watchtower's Javelin hanger…on top of a Javelin.</p><p> </p><p>Jessica Cruz@InsideGoodFive30: every member of the League has caught them at one point. I caught them in Supermans private quarters once.</p><p> </p><p>Superman@manoftommorow1938: 0-0 I need to go burn my mattress.</p><p> </p><p>Wondergirl @FoundingTitan37: I saw them two days ago coming out of Nightwing's room in The Tower. I thought they were dropping something off for him but reading this…</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368:(vomit emoji) Wondergirl, please burn my bed…I am picking a new room…they really can't keep their pants on around each other.</p><p> </p><p>Green arrow @YouHaveFaildThisCity250: WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID THE ARROW MOBILE JUST BLOW UP.</p><p> </p><p>Batman: @Iamvengeance27: =)</p><p> </p><p>….</p><p> </p><p>J.L. Finch@Daliygossip81: This just in fellow gossips Batman and Green Arrow are in a prank war. It started when Batman blew up the arrow mobile…(click for more)</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Jessica Cruz@InsideGoodFive30: I am 20,00 dollars richer bitches (selfie of Jessica Cruz, looking smug, Carol Farris Jordan hand in her head, are standing over Hal Jordan who has fainted.)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>To be continued next time</p><p> </p><p>I had way too much fun writing this lost track of time, and suddenly I was going to sleep at 1 AM. =) I needed this after writing two chapters in a row of my fic A Changed Legacy. I do not like Superman, so I could not resist the comment Wonder Woman makes. =).</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I had way too much fun writing this lost track of time and suddenly I was going to sleep at 1 am. =) I really needed this after writing two chapters in a row of my fic A Changed Legacy…I really do not like superman so I could not resist =).</p><p>anyone notice the easter eggs I included in this fic there a lot =)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. To The Sanctuary we go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>(Now Edited with Grammarly plus) bad things happen, and Stephine brown and Harper Kane discover Sailor Moon.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Justice League text messages</p><p> </p><p>Batman to all League members, Batgirl and Nightwing:</p><p> </p><p>Batman: I need you guys to bring The Joker in. Catwoman and I are checking into The Sanctuary for a while.</p><p> </p><p>Superman: What's going on?</p><p> </p><p>Batman: Joker… killed our son… Jason Todd.</p><p> </p><p>Hawkwoman: Want me to smash his head in.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: Yes… but unfortunately, it needs to be done BTB.</p><p> </p><p>Diana: So we break every bone in his body but his spine?</p><p> </p><p>Batman: …Yes.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: Smash your electrified mace between his legs a few times for me Hawkwoman</p><p> </p><p>Hawkwoman: He will be gelded by dawn.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: Good.</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing: I will pose as you, Bruce, and Babs, volunteering to pose as Selina for the capture. For some reason, she has a pair of custom-made contacts Selina's eye color. And I will punch him a few times for you.</p><p> </p><p>Batman: Thank you, Dick…I love you so much, son.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: thanks, Babs, and I also love you, son. Stay safe. Make sure you both wear the suits with the thick armor, not that lightweight one you wear most of the time.</p><p> </p><p>Batgirl: I will claw his fucking face for you.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: I approve of Your and Dick's relationship Barbara (sad little kitty smile emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Daily planet Website…</p><p> </p><p>Tragedy strikes the Wayne family once again.</p><p> </p><p>By Clark Kent</p><p> </p><p>Jason Todd Wayne, age 16, was murdered in the Middle East last week. The Wayne family was on a goodwill trip. Mr. Wayne and his longtime girlfriend, Miss Selina Kyle, have withdrawn from the public eye to mourn for the loss of their son in private. The man only known as The Joker has been apprehended after a violent clash with the Justice League. The League's woman took great offense at The Joker killing harming a child, The Joker is in a coma in intensive care in a body cast, and his face looks like a tiger has mauled it. (click for more)</p><p> </p><p>The end of year one.</p><p> </p><p>A few months later, Twitter.</p><p> </p><p>Tim Drake @ILovecoffee436 to Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368: You need to go back to being Robin. Batman and Catwoman need a Robin. Ever since his death and they returned to Gotham. They have become more brutal than they were even in year one. Without the need to be a good influence on a young sidekick, they are liable to kill someone within the next few months.</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368: I stopped being Robin. I like being Nightwing, so I am not going to go back.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>7 AM</p><p> </p><p>Harper Kane @tinkerer7withstuf: (A selfie of her and Stephine Brown with a bowl of popcorn) It's Saturday, and I will be watching the first Sailor Moon series with my best friend Steph and my new Mom on Hulu. (on Mom's insistence.) So it's going to be some stupid Disney princess BS till lunch. Steph's mom and my mom's new girlfriend Renee Montoya are also here is here too. At least she has a huge screen tv to watch it on, and I will be getting some better tools out of a deal. I only have to watch it till noon If I do not like it.</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: Hay, it could be fun, and we got good expensive junk food to pig out on.</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: Trust me, you are going to love it, girls.</p><p> </p><p>Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: Harper, it's going to be fun.</p><p> </p><p>Renee Montoya @Ask the Question9: You girls are going to love Sailor Moon =)</p><p> </p><p>Dinah Queen @pritybird220: 0_0 You girls are watching Sailor Moon. Have you started yet? Can I come to watch it been forever since I watched SM?</p><p> </p><p>Helena Bertinelli @mobprincess1: Ditto.</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: Same</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: Can I come?</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: We have not started yet. The More, the merrier girls, we got more than enough snakes =). And we will wait to start till you get here, Selina. =)</p><p> </p><p>Gotham@ BetterThenMetropolis52: Those girls are in for a treat. I just discovered SM, and it is terrific =).</p><p> </p><p>12 PM</p><p>Harper Kane @tinkerer7withstuf: Sailor Moon is AMAZING! We are stopping to order lunch. I can't wait to find out who the next Sailor Scout is.</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: I know, right. They are so much more kick-ass than any Disney princess…except maybe… no, they are more kick-ass the even Elsa. (Grin emoji) And even better, we ordered Empanadillas from the best place to get them in Gotham. =)</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: (smug smile emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: =)</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: (big kitty grin)</p><p> </p><p>Helena Bertinelli @mobprincess1: Hehehe, we converted more girls to the glory of Sailor Moon =)</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: Damn straight. =)</p><p> </p><p>Dinah Queen @pritybird220: Cosmic Moon Power wins again (big grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Renee Montoya @Ask the Question9: So we are done watching right (grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Harper Kane @tinkerer7withstuf: Fuck no.</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: ditto</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: Language young lady. (blushing grin)I really feel like a mom now. Surprisingly it feels delicious. (Big Grin Emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Cullen Kane@Parkrowrow12: Sailor Moon is so cool.</p><p> </p><p>Cullen Kane@Parkrowrow12: Ops and just revealed I was watching from my bedroom.</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: (deranged looking emoji) come out and join us, Cullen =)</p><p> </p><p>Cullen Kane@Parkrowrow12: ...Ok =)</p><p> </p><p>3 AM Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: Aww, they all fell asleep. (A picture of the woman and girls all cuddled together on and around the couch. Renee spooning with Kate, Harper, and Stephane sprawled laying on Barbara and Helena B. each young woman holding a girl, Selina and Dinah laying with their feet off the arm of the gigantic couch.)</p><p> </p><p>A week and a day later …</p><p> </p><p>Batwoman @ImAm(not)Batman223: How did I let you talk me into this?</p><p> </p><p>Bluebird @Selfmadegear1: I caught you red-caped, and you worried about how you have become more violent and wanted to make sure you do not go down the same path Batman and Catwoman are going down.</p><p> </p><p>Batwoman @ImAm(not)Batman223: Oh ya. Remember your listening to orders, and if I say get out, you get out, or your ground. Now introduce yourself to the world.</p><p> </p><p>Bluebird @Selfmadegear1: (Posts a picture revealing Batwoman is standing next to a short 12-year-old girl with long blue hair in a braided ponytail. She is wearing futuristic cosplay-like body armor and holding a futuristic rifle. An armored domino mask hides her face. Both are in a sailor moon-like pose.) Evildoers beware Bluebird is here.</p><p> </p><p>Batwoman @ImAm(not)Batman223: I also can't believe I let you convince me to use that picture. You have been watching too much Sailor Moon.</p><p> </p><p>Bluebird @Selfmadegear1: You are the one who introduced me to the glory that is Sailor Moon. You know you enjoyed doing the pose, as it was your idea.</p><p> </p><p>Batwoman @ImAm(not)Batman223: I plead the fifth</p><p> </p><p>Bluebird @Selfmadegear1: (grinning emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Batman: @Iamvengeance27: Keep her safe, Batwoman (thinking emoji), so that's where Catwoman has been for the last two weekends.</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368: and Batgirl</p><p> </p><p>Deleted recording from Tim Drake's phone outside of Dick and Babs shared Cherry Hill apartment.</p><p> </p><p>Tim: You and Batgirl need to move back into Wayne Manner if you do not want to be Robin again.</p><p> </p><p>Dick: Who the fuck are you, Kid? Batgirl does not live here.</p><p> </p><p>Barbara: Dick, who is at the door?</p><p> </p><p>Dick: (grumbles)</p><p> </p><p>Tim: I am Tim Drake, Miss Gordon. You and Nightwing need to move into Wayne Manner to help modulate the level of violence Batman and Catwoman have been recently using, or they're going to kill someone.</p><p> </p><p>Barbara: No, we are enjoying living without parental supervision. Once we are on spring break, we can get more active for a bit, but college takes up a lot more time than high school ever did. We barely have enough time to keep in shape.</p><p> </p><p>Tim: Batman needs a Robin. Catwoman needs a Batgirl.</p><p> </p><p>Barbara: How did you know Catwoman helped train me when I first started out? I mean, if you know so much, why don't you become the next Robin.</p><p> </p><p>Tim: You patrolled with her exclusively your first year as Batgirl. Hmm, Goodbye, Mr. Grayson, Miss Gordan. Have a good rest of your day.</p><p> </p><p>Recoding ended.</p><p> </p><p>Young Justice/Teen Titans messenger</p><p> </p><p>Batgirl: I think I just fucked up a twelve-year-old kid named Tim Drake has figured out what Dick, Bruce, Selina, and I do for 'work' and told him if he knew so much, why does he not become the next Robin. Then he got a weirdly determined look on his face and took off.</p><p> </p><p>Huntress: you may have fucked up…no, you definitely fucked up.</p><p> </p><p>(Real-world thoughts of Helena Bertinelli: IT BETTER NOT BE MY STUDENT TIM DRAKE!)</p><p> </p><p>Artemis: Come on, Helena, Bruce, and Selina are so stubborn they won't let there be another Robin even if he blackmails them.</p><p> </p><p>Impulse: ya, there is not going to be a new Robin, future knowledge and all.</p><p> </p><p>Superboy: The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.</p><p> </p><p>Impulse: ???</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing: Did you quote The Terminator to Impulse?</p><p> </p><p>Superboy: (smug emoji) Yes</p><p> </p><p>Miss Martian: It's his favorite movie series.</p><p> </p><p>Impulse: I Never got the chance to watch those.</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing: Terminator Marathon at my apartment this weekend. Babs is marathoning Sailor Moon with Kate and the girls again.</p><p> </p><p>Miss Martian: WHAT!!!!!! You did not invite me. What episode are you guys on?</p><p> </p><p>Artemis: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! You did not invite me? What episode are you guys on?</p><p> </p><p>Wonder Girl: WHY DID you not invite me, Babs!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Lady Lantern: You did not invite me either (glare emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Zatanna: (Glaring emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Supergirl: I will Heat vision you if I can't attend! (glare Emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Batgirl: (sweatdrop emoji) 52…Do you girls think you can get caught up before the weekends up?</p><p> </p><p>Miss Martian: Yes</p><p> </p><p>Artemis: Yes…do you mind if Jade comes?</p><p> </p><p>Red Arrow: Jade could use more friends that are not killers.</p><p> </p><p>Batgirl: I'll ask Kate one min.</p><p> </p><p>Batgirl: She says she can come bo no poisons allowed.</p><p> </p><p>Artemis: Jades ok with that. She will be bringing little Lain with her as Roy wants to go to the Terminator Marathon at Dicks. We are getting caught up on SM tonight.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Saturday Twitter</p><p> </p><p>7 AM</p><p>Harper Kane @tinkerer7withstuf: (Shares a picture of a large group of women wearing sailor moon t-shirts) Babs and Selina brought some friends for the marathon of SM =) Meet Babs friends: Artemis crock, Jade Nguyen-Harper, cute little Lain Nguyen-Harper, Jessica Cruz, Zatanna Zatara, Kara Danvers, and Dana Troy. Selina's: Carol Ferris Jordan (Squee and very pregnant), Diana Prince, Hippolyta Prince (0_0 How are these two mothers and daughter), Iris Allen, Lois Lane Kent (Squee) Mera Curry, Babs stepmom Sara Essen Gordan, Pamala Isley, Harley Quin(both are newly paroled), Shiera Saunders, Tora Olafsdotter, Beatriz da Costa, Leslie Thompkins, and Martha Kent. There are so many strong women in one place. It is so amazing. Time for Sailor Moon (big grin emoji) Cullen decided to watch Terminator with Babs boyfriend, my cousin by adoption Dick Grayson and his friends at Wayne manner. Then again, the little bratling has been binging SM every day instead of waiting for Saturday. He already finished the series.</p><p> </p><p>Harper Kane @tinkerer7withstuf: 0_0…OMFG Mrs. Kent brought some of the best homemade junk food ever made. From puppy chow to lemon squares and apple pie. There are even several kinds of homemade vanilla ice cream and homemade hot fudge. I am in love.</p><p> </p><p>Harper Kane @tinkerer7withstuf: Duck 0_0 Martha is the one who supplied the recipes for the icecream used by The Cats Cream.</p><p> </p><p>A private conversation between Selina Kyle and Stephine Brown</p><p> </p><p>Steph: I want you to train me to be a vigilante Catwoman!</p><p> </p><p>Selina: Why would you even think I am Catwoman.</p><p> </p><p>Steph: (Shares a picture of Catwoman and Batman with their cowls off in Selina's Penthouse. Now used as a safe house for when the couple does not want to return to Wayne manner after patrol.) Yes, this could be a fake, but then there's this little item. (Shows Selina something on her W-phone) Would you like the world to know?</p><p> </p><p>Selina snatches Stephine's phone and erases any evidence on her phone with a thoughtful expression on her face.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: Why do you want to be a vigilante?</p><p> </p><p>Steph(with great conviction): So I can <strong>spoil</strong> the crimes of my father. I just learned he is Clue Master. Fortunately, he did not catch me when I caught him arguing with Mom.</p><p> </p><p>Selina bites her lip as she thinks: If I train you, you do not get a costume until I feel you are ready, be it in two months or two years, got it. And you stay the fuck away from Joker…if that fucker ever wakes up.</p><p> </p><p>Steph (smiles): Yes, like Cat-sensei.</p><p> </p><p>Selina (smiles): Now we got Sailor Moon to watch.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: Bruce learned about the Terminator marathon and changed it to Wayne manner and invited his friends. It is going to be <strong>EPIC!</strong> (Shares a picture showing Ted Kord, Clark Kent, Hal Jordan,  John Stewart, J'onn J'onzz, Barry Allen, Ted Grant, Connor Kent, Arthur Curry, Jonathan Kent, Jason Garrick, Jackson Hyde, Garth Curry, Wally West, Bart Allen, Allen Scott, John Jones, Oliver Queen, Will Harper, Michael Carter, Cullen Kane, Steve Trever, Alfred Pennyworth… and Tim Drake?)</p><p> </p><p>A private conversation between Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne</p><p> </p><p>Bruce: (Full Batman Glare) I am told you to blame Tim bugging me for a week saying Batman needs a Robin, and Barbra suggested he become the next Robin (sigh), and unfortunately, he is right.</p><p> </p><p>(The impenetrable thoughts of Batman: Plus, with Tims's parents gone so much, he needs some parental figures in his life.)</p><p> </p><p>Dick: Fuck sorry…WHAT!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Bruce: He is not going out until I deem him ready, and he knows to stay far away from Joker.</p><p> </p><p>Text message between Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle</p><p> </p><p>Cat: Stephine Brown has asked me to train her. She is Cluemaster's daughter and wants to stop his crimes. I said yes, Tim is right. I need a Batgirl around to keep me from being so brutal. I lessened my brutality when I started training Barbara. Although she won't be a batgirl and I do not think she will go by Catgirl.</p><p> </p><p>Bat: She knows to stay away from Joker!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Cat: Yes, we are NOT going to tell Tim about her. The Cat should always surprise a Bat in her introduction (Evil cat grin).</p><p> </p><p>Bat: (devil smile face).</p><p> </p><p>Next week twitter:</p><p> </p><p>8 AM</p><p>Harper Kane @tinkerer7withstuf: =0 Holy Fucking Shit, I am about to watch Sailor Moon with the girls In Wayne Manor's massive Theater room. 0_0</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: (kitty grinning emoji) your welcome for kicking the boys out of the Manner for a day.</p><p>Harper Kane @tinkerer7withstuf: (big innocent grin)</p><p>To be continued</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. In the Name of the Moon, We are The Birds of Prey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>a new DC team and more Young heroes make their debut and Batcats first Offical anniversary. now edited with Grammarly plus</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Twitter</p><p> </p><p>Diana Prince@WomanarePowerful8: Steve Trever asked me on a date… again, and this time I said yes.</p><p> </p><p>The Next day</p><p> </p><p>Diana Prince@WomanarePowerful8: I will go out with Steve again as I had fun. He is not quite Bruce. However, he was very satisfying at the end of the night. (Naughty Grinning emoji) I need to state I have known the man for ten years and am very picky about lovers.</p><p> </p><p>Steve Trever @ Flyboy8: I will take that as a compliment, Angel.</p><p> </p><p>Hippolyta Prince@GoldenAgeWoman8 to Steve Trever @ Flyboy8: Cheat on my daughter. I remove all of what makes you a man with a spoon, cook them up nice and tasty and make you eat them.</p><p>Steve Trever @ Soldierboy8: 0_0(scared emoji) (gulps)Yes, mam.</p><p>Diana Prince@WomanarePowerful8:(blushing emoji) Mom uncalled for I am a grown woman!!!!</p><p>Hippolyta Prince@GoldenAgeWoman8: Diana, you will always be my baby girl. =)</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Oracle @IKnowEveryThingIAmEveryThing: Evil beware there's a new group in Gotham, and in the name of the moon, the Birds of prey will punish you. (shares picture of Catwoman, Batgirl, Bluebird, Batwoman, Huntress (II), Black Canary and Orphan in the classic Sailor Moon and the Sailor Scouts pose Catwoman in Sailor Moon's spot)</p><p> </p><p>Batwoman @ImAm(not)Batman223: How did I let you guys talk me into using this picture?</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1: I agree. As team leader, how did I allow this picture to be our official introduction to the world? And the introduction of Orphan to the world?</p><p> </p><p>Bluebird @Selfmadegear1: Because we are all hopeless SM fangirls! (grinning emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Orphan @Batgirlnumber2: Yes, yes, we all are =)</p><p> </p><p>Hsuntress1 @BatCat6911: Mom is a team leader @_@</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1 to Huntress1 @BatCat6911: (kitty glare emoji) Who the fuck are you!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>(Real world' thoughts of Selina Kyle: I have never given birth, the only daughter I have Is the one Bruce and I just adopted Cassandra Wayne)</p><p> </p><p>Huntress1 @BatCat6911: 0_0 No one</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1: I will find you.</p><p> </p><p>Huntress1 @BatCat6911: Good luck with that Catmom (kitty grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Alexis Kaye @Joker'shostage #89: Finally, an all-woman hero group.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Orphan @Batgirlnumber2: I am Orphan (shares a picture of a 12-year-old olive-skinned girl with chin-length black hair dressed in a black suit, kitty ears, and a small domino mask that shows her brown eyes) also hello Gotham.</p><p> </p><p>Text message between Stephine Brown and Selina Kyle</p><p> </p><p>Steph: Why does Cass get to debut already? You and Bruce like just adopted her a month ago.</p><p> </p><p>Cat: Cass has been training to be an assassin from birth. You have been training to be a vigilante for three months. You are coming along well, and you can soon debut as Spoiler. And you will be a member of the Birds when that time comes =)</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>J.L. Finch@Daliygossip81: This just in my gossips a month ago Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle adopt again, and this time it's a girl. Her name is Cassandra Cane, age 12, and she officially is taking the Wayne name. (shares picture of an olive-skinned Asian American girl with brown eyes and black hair)</p><p> </p><p>Cassandra Wayne @quietgirl567: yes, I am Wayne, hear me roar, also hello =)</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197 to J.L. Finch@Daliygossip81: (glare emoji) How the fuck did you learn this the paperwork just got approved?</p><p> </p><p>J.L. Finch@Daliygossip81: I have an inside source (smirk emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: (kitty smiley face) I wonder who that could be.</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197 to Cassandra Wayne @quietgirl567: That's my daughter =)</p><p> </p><p>Cassandra Wayne @quietgirl567: (kitty angle smile emoji)</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: Today is my first day of work at the Thomas and Martha Wayne Free Clinic =)</p><p> </p><p>A month later</p><p> </p><p>March, 10 Twitter</p><p> </p><p>10 AM</p><p> </p><p>Robin 3rd @Newboywonder: (a 13-year-old robin/Tim Drake shares a selfie of himself on the roof of some Gotham apartment complex) There's a new Robin in town, and it's my first solo patrol. Batman says it will take me 4 hours to get back to the cave and stay away from any Rouges tonight…He also said I could only tweet this if I stated that I am only allowed to be out this late have four days off school.</p><p> </p><p>An hour later</p><p> </p><p>Robin 3rd @Newboywonder: Did anyone get the number of that eggplant that knocked me out with a brick?</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1: (grinning kitty emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Oracle @IKnowEveryThingIAmEveryThing: Perhaps the Bat let you out on solo patrol too early.</p><p> </p><p>Batgirl @Batgirl1: I agree with Oracle (grinning emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Orphan @Batgirlnumber2: Agree</p><p> </p><p>Bluebird @Selfmadegear1: Batwoman must be the better teacher =)</p><p> </p><p>Batwoman @ImAm(not)Batman223: Aww, Thank you. Yes, I agree the Bat let the Robin out of the nest too early, and he broke his wing =)</p><p> </p><p>Huntress @Itsacrossbow1989: This Robin was definitely let of The Cave too soon.</p><p> </p><p>New Black canary @Birdofprey86: I can't believe I agree with Huntress (tongue sticking out emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368: Robin…you got knocked out by an eggplant hitting you with a brick? -_- "</p><p> </p><p>Robin 3rd @Newboywonder: No, I got knocked out by a flat-chested girl who was dressed in eggplant purple… I swear I know her butt from some were.</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler @SpoilerWaring4Brick: WHAT!!!!! Flat chest. Ohhh (glare emoji)</p><p> </p><p>30 min later</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368 to Robin 3rd @Newboywonder: Are you alive?</p><p> </p><p>Five minutes later</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368 Batman @Iamvengeance27: (sigh) I'll go look for the little bird. It will be less embarrassing to the boy if I find him than if you do B.</p><p> </p><p>A Text between Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne:</p><p> </p><p>Old Chum: (grinning emoji) besides B, I bet you forgot tomorrow is yours and Selina's 2nd anniversary, not counting the year you guys dated before you took me in. I cant wait to see what she does to you because you forgot (grinning emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Dad: (smirk emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Old Chum: Why do I have a bad feeling about this? Well, I will look for Tim.</p><p> </p><p>An hour later</p><p> </p><p>Old Chum: (Grin Emoji) He's knocked out but alive. I think this Eggplant girl circled around and got him a second time. Check Twitter for the evidence.</p><p> </p><p>Twitter</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368: (shares a picture of the New Robin knocked out and surrounded by many bricks painted eggplant purple. The manner the bricks are arranged indicated they pelted him.) =) He is never going to live this down.</p><p> </p><p>Batgirl @Batgirl1: (sweatdrop) Batman needs to teach Robin how to talk to and about girls.</p><p> </p><p>Batman: @Iamvengeance27: (frown emoji)</p><p>'</p><p>Bluebird @Selfmadegear1: LMAO</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>1 hour and 40 minutes ago</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler @SpoilerWaring4Brick: (picture of a 12-year-old girl dressed in an eggplant purple suit wearing a half mask, hooded cloak, and kitty ears just visible under the hood. Robin knocked out in the background a single eggplant purple brick is lying by his head.) I am Gotham's latest Lady of Justice, and I knocked out the new Robin tonight twice. Never call me flat-chested, or you too will be introduced to my Bricks of Justice. I am still growing (glare emoji). I am The Spoiler. HEAR ME, ROAR!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Oracle @IKnowEveryThingIAmEveryThing: She is also the latest member of the Birds of Prey =). (Shares a picture of the five-woman and three girls doing sailor moon poses)</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1: And she is my Apprentice (proud Kitty emoji) We cats will always beat the bats (Kitty smirk emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Midnight March, 11th</p><p> </p><p>Text messages Bruce Wayne to Selina Kyle</p><p> </p><p>Bat: Where did Stephine find that many bricks in eggplant purple?</p><p> </p><p>Cat: She paints them herself, and there is a hardware store near where she lives. She likes to have a brick on her for some strange reason. Also, Tim should have never called her flat. She must have raided her stash before getting him the second time.</p><p> </p><p>Bat: I thought his father would have taught him to talk to girls. Then again, the Drakes are hardly home.</p><p> </p><p>Cat: WHAAAT!!!!!!!!!! WHY THE FUCK HAVE YOU NOT CALLED CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES ON THEM!</p><p> </p><p>Bat: -_- Do you really need me to answer that?</p><p> </p><p>Cat: Bat…I feel dirty…really dirty. Have Alfred Draw a bath for me, get out that bottle of Screaming Eagle cabaret I stole from Cobblepot, and a bag of Dove… I need a long soak in the tub after texting you that. (shame emoji).</p><p> </p><p>Bat: 0_0 you have shame?</p><p> </p><p>Cat:  =( I just learned it…it is, however, not going to stop me from riding your Batarang on a roof (grinning emoji).</p><p> </p><p>Bat: (grin) Do you want the glass you recently stole from the King Gorge collection on our last trip to London?</p><p> </p><p>Cat: 0_0" You know about that? You're always ok with me stealing from criminals, but that was another story.</p><p> </p><p>Bat: I understand why you took it.</p><p> </p><p>Cat: Do I have to give it back?</p><p> </p><p>Bat: I legally acquired it a week ago (smirk emoji). It's The Bats anniversary gift to The Cat. Bruce Wayne's gift for you is waiting in the bathroom. (grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Twitter</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH MY FUCKING GOD MY HBOYFRIEND BOUGHT ME THE BLUE</p><p>FUCKING CAT DIAMOND FOR ARE ANNIVERSARY =0 (Shares a picture of the 45-carat cat cut blue diamond neckless set-in platinum)</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne Official: @YesIAmBruceWayne: Happy anniversary, Selina =)I am glad you like it.</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: Fuck… thanks for raising the bar, Dad…I thought you had forgotten</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1: I really hope Bruce Wayne gets voted into office in 2020 so I can take that from Wayne Manner (kitty grin)</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197 to Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1: Back off cat bitch The Blue Cat is this kitty's!</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman @IAmTheNight1: For now(evil cat grin)</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: Batman would give you a spanking if you tried to steal this.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1: =) You're making me want to steal it more, little girl.</p><p> </p><p>Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: LMFAF and gross (vomit emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Lois Lane Kent @Armybrat1: …Lucky Bitch</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: (kitty grin Emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Dinah Queen @ prettybird220: Oliver, you should be taking notes =)</p><p> </p><p>Oli Queen: @ fromLianYuDao1: (grimace emoji) Thanks a lot, Brucie. I can feel my bank account getting lighter, and you are worth every cent, Pretty Bird.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne Official: @YesIAmBruceWayne: Thanks for making the day even better, Oliver (devil grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Oli Queen: @ fromLianYuDao1: I am punching you next time I see you.</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: 0-0 That is a huge fucking rock…You better be getting me something good for my birthday Brucie!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Cassandra Wayne @quietgirl567: Daddy, what you are getting me for my 13th birthday? (Kitten eyes emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: Dick, you do not need to try to top that rock, but you will be in the dog house if you forget our anniversary.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred Pennyworth@Alwaysthere16 to Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: The surprising thing about this is I never have to remind Master Bruce about your anniversary.</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359 to Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38:(glare emoji) correction, you forget our anniversary, and you're going to be back on Bruce's couch.</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: (dopy grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Text message between Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle</p><p> </p><p>Bat: Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: Batman would give you a spanking if you tried to steal this.</p><p>Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1: =) Your making me want to steal it more, little girl.</p><p>Are you trying to tell me something, Cat?</p><p> </p><p>Cat: Maybe (grinning kitty emoji) When are you going to get home? I am ONLY wearing my anniversary gift; Alfred is taking Cass to Kates for the night…I feel bad that I just got you a new watch…but I think you will like the watch.</p><p> </p><p>Bat: I am five minutes out. (grinning emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Twitter 10 AM:</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne Official: @YesIAmBruceWayne: (crying emoji) I love Selina she found my father's watch(shares picture of the back of a watch: So you always know what time it is Martha the trained eye could tell it was old)</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: (crying emoji) I Love you, Bruce, =)</p><p> </p><p>Leslie Thompkins @ SuperDoc457: Oh My GOD (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Clark Kent@farmboy1: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: 0_0…(crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Dinah Queen @ prettybird220: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Helena Bertinelli @mobprincess1: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Alfred Pennyworth@Alwaysthere16: (tear emoji)</p><p>Ted Grant @Offical Ted Wildcat Grant: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Harleen Quinzel@Arkhamdoc1992: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Pamala Isley@gothamsiren1966: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Poison Ivy@Gaia181: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Renee Montoya @Ask the Question9: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Sara Essen Gordan @AmItOmAnLyFoRYoU405:(crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Mera Curry@Landdweller11: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Diana Prince@WomanarePowerful8: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Donna Troy @camragirl60: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Hippolyta Prince@GoldenAgeWoman8: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Iris Allen@Copsdaughter4: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Artemis Crock @ IHateSportsmaster2010: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Jessica Cruz@InsideGoodFive30: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Carol Ferris @CarolFarrisofficial: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Megan Morse @HelloMeganGigaFan: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Shiera Saunders@NewBlackhawks1: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Kimiyo Hoshi @whitelightgirl4: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Tora Olafsdotter@ MycoldFeet12: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Beatriz da Costa @HotLadyNight46: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Zatanna Zatara @MagicalGirl4: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Alexis Kaye @Joker'shostage #89: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Jade Nguyen-Harper @IhateSportsmaster1: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Hilary Tenny@HelPOmISL23: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Robinswatcher@52stoplights: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Gotham@ BetterThenMetropolis52: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Frank @IAmaHouSeplanT1: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Ted Kord @TedkordOffical: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Michael Carter @IDidNotRobaMuseum: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Will Harper @ CloneWars2010: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Oliver Queen @ OfficalOliverQueen: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>John Jones@ MiddletonPI225: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>John Stewart @MarineArchitect87: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Allen Scott@greenmetalworker16: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Wally West@KidSlomo110: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Barry Allen@SloMo4: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Guy Gardner@Bartender59: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Garth Curry@ serfboy269: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Jackson Hyde@ FateBlackManta 2010: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Arthur Curry @TheclearO73: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Wildcat@OldYoda1: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Martha Kent@TheFirstMartha1: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Jonathan Kent@ FarmMan1: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Connor Kent@farmboy500: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Karen Starr@2TheOfficalKarenStarr: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>KaraDanvers@lostgirl252: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Harvey bullock @ Badge#0441: hate to admit it but (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>James Gordan @marine4Life27: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Batwoman @ImAm(not)Batman223: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Cassandra Wayne @quietgirl567 to Alfred Pennyworth@Alwaysthere16: @_@ Why the crying emoji?</p><p> </p><p>Alfred Pennyworth@Alwaysthere16 to Cassandra Wayne @quietgirl567: The police never recovered Thomas's watch.</p><p> </p><p>Cassandra Wayne @quietgirl567: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Harper Kane @tinkerer7withstuf: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Orphan @Batgirlnumber2: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Bluebird @Selfmadegear1: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Tim Drake @ILovecoffee436: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler @SpoilerWaring4Brick: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Robin 3rd @Newboywonder: (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>J.L. Finch@Daliygossip81: (crying emoji) this just in my gossips. Selina Kyle gets a 65-Million-dollar diamond neckless as an anniversary gift, and she managed to top her boyfriend's gift by getting him something priceless. His late father's stolen watch that was stolen the night the Wayne's were killed by the mugger took their lives. Miss Kyle had done DNA tests discreetly at Wayne Industries confirm it is indeed the late Thomas Wayne's watch.</p><p> </p><p>To be continued</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>God this is fun to write.<br/>I wanted to make it clear that Diana Prince did not cheat on Steve Trever in the last chapter.<br/>I was thinking of introducing Kull in this fic by ether Hippolyta or Diana but decided he not too in the end.<br/>I like the idea of Catwoman being the leader of the Birds of Prey as seen in my other fic Batman Hush: Knightfall<br/>I just realized I misspelled the pretty in prettybird220<br/>I literally copy and pasted the words crying emoji after I got done with  pasting the Twitter names of the hero's civilian identities and Gotham’s vigilantes with the exception of Ted grant as I initially forgot to put him in.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Fun times, Nightoracle's anniversary, birthdays, and a Gotham Rouge Attack</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Now Edited by Grammarly plus</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Twitter</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: It Seems Saturdays have become a day for bonding with friends over movies or tv series. This week we are at The Jordan's penthouse as the woman in our lives has permanently claimed Wayne Manor for their Sailor Moon marathons. This week it's my turn to choose, so I picked the classic Tonkatsu film Gojira, Shin Godzilla, and the Legendary film series for Godzilla. We will be watching the classic movie in its original Japanese with subtitles for those who cant speak the language.</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: I hate subtitles. Can't we watch the original Godzilla King of the Monster English translation?</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: No, if anyone else complains, we will watch Shin Godzilla with subtitles too!!!!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: =( fine.</p><p> </p><p>An hour and a half later</p><p> </p><p>Tim Drake @ILovecoffee436: 0_0 the movie is 66 years old. How is the CGI that good????????</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: It's not CGI. It's all-practical effects and suit work. I'll get you an e-book on the topic.</p><p> </p><p>Tim Drake @ILovecoffee436: 0_0 not CGI…wow…</p><p> </p><p>9 hours later</p><p> </p><p>Tim Drake @ILovecoffee436: 0_0 are there more Godzilla films we can watch?</p><p> </p><p>Jason Garrick@OlProf22: yes, a whole bunch. Some are cheesy but enjoyable =) we can watch more next week when this comes to my house, youngster =)</p><p> </p><p>Tim Drake @ILovecoffee436: (Stary eyed emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Steve Trever @ Soldierboy8: Can we start with Godzilla 1984? Man, I loved the Super X</p><p> </p><p>Two hours ago</p><p> </p><p>GCPD alert: Warning Scarecrow has released his fear toxin in several locations in Gotham!</p><p> </p><p>Oracle @IKnowEveryThingIAmEveryThing: We have this. He will learn the error of his ways for attacking during Sailor Moon night!</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1: We are going to tear his lung out!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Batman: @Iamvengeance27 to Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1: You know the rule no killing.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1: HE CAN LIVE WITH ONE LUNG!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Supergirl@BeingSuper8: DON'T WORRY I WILL CAUTEIZE EVERYTHING HE WILL NOT BLEED OUT…MUCH!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler @SpoilerWaring4Brick: WERE DID I PUT MY HEAVY BRICKS!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Bluebird @Selfmadegear1: I AM GOING TO SHOOT HIM IN THE DICK WITH MY SHOCK RIFLE SET TO MAX!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Orphan @Batgirlnumber2: I KICK HIM IN THE BALLS FIRST I AM GOING TO…!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Orphan @Batgirlnumber2: I got the order wrong again (blushing emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Batwoman @ImAm(not)Batman223: I AM GOING TO PUT MY FOOT UP HIS ASS WITHOUT LUBE!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Hawkwoman@EatmyMace1:GOOD, YOU WILL WARM HIM UP FOR MY MACE!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Huntress @Itsacrossbow1989: I AM PUTTING A ARROW IN HIS GOD DANM KNEE!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>New Black canary @Birdofprey86: HE IS GOING TO BE MADE DEF BY MY CRY!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Diana Of Themyscira@ WonderWoman77: MOM…HOLD MY TEARA I AM NOT WONDER WOMAN TONIGHT!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Tide Breaker @Aquawoman49: HE IS GETTING A SALTWATER ENEMA!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Renee Montoya @Ask the Question9:  I WILL BE LOOKING THE OTHER WAY!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Sara Essen Gordan @AmItOmAnLyFoRYoU405: SAME FOR ME!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Batgirl @Batgirl1: I GOT DIBBS ON PUTTING A BATARAGE IN HIS OTHER KNEE!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Wondergirl @FoundingTitan37: NOT IF I SHOVE MY SWORD INTO IT FIRST!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Wonder Woman @TheFirstWonderWoman: I HAVE A SPOON, AND I AM GOING TO GELD HIM WITH IT!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Artemis @: Bettershot34: WERE DID I PUT MY POINTY ARROWS!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Miss Martian @ IchoseGreen37: I AM GOING TO DESTROY HIS PITTFLE LITTLE MIND!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Doctor Light @LetThereBeLight3: HE WILL SEE THE LIGHT AND NOTHING EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Ice @ILikeGreenLanterIII12: IMA FREEZE HIS BALLS OFF!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Fire @MeltyouHot46: GOING TO BOIL HIM ALIVE IN HIS STUPIDO MASK</p><p> </p><p>Zatanna Zatara @MagicalGirl4: I AM GOING TO TURN HIM INTO A TWELVE-YEAR-OLD GIRL!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Cheshire @PoisonsAreMyThing2: JUST WHIPPED UP SOMETHING NASTY THAT WILL MAKE HIM WISH HE WAS DEAD USING HOUSEHOLD CHEMICALS!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Star Sapphire @PreditorsLight22: GOING TO CRYSTALISE HIS BAL…0_0…FUCK MY WATER JUST BROKE!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Green lantern II@flyinghighZero: 0_0 I AM ON MY WAY, HONEY =) IMA BE A DADDY.</p><p> </p><p>Green Lantern V: LadyLanter2814: GREAT NOW I HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE GD TOXIN.</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368: 0_0 I never thought I would feel bad for Scarecrow… should we try to save him from the angry woman of the Justice League?</p><p> </p><p>Batman: @Iamvengeance27 to Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368: (thinking emoji) no. He complains he does not feel fear anymore, and he will after tonight.</p><p> </p><p>Robin 3rd @Newboywonder: you sure we should not save Scarecrow?</p><p> </p><p>Batman: @Iamvengeance27: (shrugging emoji) we would never make it in time. Superman or a Flash might.</p><p> </p><p>FlashII@Flashpoint2011: I AM NOT DUMB ENOUGH TO TRY TO STOP A BUNCH OF PISSED OFF WOMEN!!!! But Superman left three seconds ago.</p><p> </p><p>Supergirl@BeingSuper8: SUPERMAN IF YOU TRY TO INTERFERE AGAIN AND I WILL NOT BE SO GENITAL!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Batman: @Iamvengeance27: (smirk emoji) Superman Just went Up, Up and Away.</p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>J.L. Finch@Daliygossip81: This just in my gossips the Ladies of the League sent Scarecrow to join Joker in the coma ward after their Girls night was interrupted by…more</p><p> </p><p>34 hours later</p><p> </p><p>Hal Jordan@ commitmentissues22: My hand has been crushed and needs several pins to hold it in place. Well, it heals. I have not slept in three days, and I cannot stop smiling despite not being on morphine for the pain. Say hello to Jade Martha Jordan (shares a picture of his new daughter)</p><p> </p><p>Allen Scott@greenmetalworker16: Congratulations, Hal =)</p><p> </p><p>Guy Gardner@Bartender59: Aww, she is so cute!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Jessica Cruz@InsideGoodFive30: (heart eyes emoji)</p><p> </p><p>John Stewart @MarineArchitect87: How are you the first of us to have a child Hal?</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Text message between Bruce Wayne and Hal Jordan</p><p> </p><p>Fool: Bats, I need lessons in intimidation</p><p> </p><p>Bat: Fine, fifty dollars an hour.</p><p> </p><p>Fool: You're charging me!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Bat: (smirk emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Fool: …deal.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Text Message between Stephine Brown, Crystal Brown, Selina Kyle, Barbara Gordan, Helena Bertinelli, Dinah Queen, Kate Kane, Harper Kane, and Cassandra Wayne.</p><p> </p><p>Stephine: 0_0" Tim Drake just asked me out on a date to the Wayne Gala to benefit the ASPCA… and I said Yes… I don't have anything to wear or know what to wear or how to dance properly. Help me, Obi-wan Kenobi. You are my only hope!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Harper: aaaahhhh OMG, he finally found his balls and asked you out instead of staring at your ass. Happy for you, bestie. =)</p><p> </p><p>Ninja Girl: finally, happy for you =) Robin, man up eeehhhh</p><p> </p><p>Ninja Girl: I am never going to get that right =(</p><p> </p><p>Cat-Sensei: Don't worry, Crass. Your texting/typing issues are like Yoda's speech. It's cute and endearing.</p><p> </p><p>Ninja Girl: (angel emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Steph: Wait… Tim stares at my ass (blushing emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Harper: All the time (kitty grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Ninja Girl: you Every time get up or walk by (Kitty grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Cat-Sensei: I got you, my apprentice. It's two weeks away. Crystal Bruce will be sending you an invitation so you will need a dress too. I also need a new dress for the occasion. Babs, are you dragging Dick to the event? Kate, you're attending too, and you're bringing Harper. It's better to have backup when attending your first Gala with Gotham's high society, and Steph will have all the birds for backup. Helena, I know you hate attending this kinda thing, but you're going to be there, and Cass will be attending. Dinah, I know Bruce sent Oliver an invitation, so are the two of you going to be attending?</p><p> </p><p>Babs: Yes, I am, daddy will be there too, so Sara needs a new dress.</p><p> </p><p>Kate: So, do Renee and me.</p><p> </p><p>Dinah: yes, I am =), going to be performing too =) I'll sing something good for your first dance with Tim =).</p><p> </p><p>Selina:… I thought you sang metal.</p><p> </p><p>Dinah: You're not the only animal lover in our group. I can stand singing something other than my metal for a night for such a worthy cause. =)</p><p> </p><p>Selina: (kitty grin)</p><p> </p><p>Selina: Ok, school lets out in an hour, Dinah and I will pick up the girls, Babs grab your mother and Renee from work. Crystal, I'll send you the address we are going to the Cats Stitching Room. Then we will go to Shelly's Heels for new shoes, then we hit up Macey's for cosmetics for the girls, and to end the night dinner at Tony's Italian Restaurant, all will be my treat. As for dance lessons, I will be teaching you another valuable skill. And Steph, we will make sure your dress shows off that big old butt of yours since it seems Tim likes it so much. (devil kitty grin)</p><p> </p><p>Steph: (blushing emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Cat-Sensei: Slight alteration to the plan. Lois just texted me she is covering that Gala and will be dragging Clark as her date. So she will be meeting us there.</p><p> </p><p>Crystal: Leslie says Alfred just invited her, and I thought she could tag along?</p><p> </p><p>Cat-Sensei: Leslie is always welcome =).</p><p> </p><p>Cat-sensei: Diana will be attending and is also going to be getting a new dress with us.</p><p> </p><p>Text from Tim Drake to Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Alfred Pennyworth, and Oliver Queen</p><p> </p><p>Tim: She said yes…GAAAHH DANCE DON'T KNOW HOW, DO NOT HAVE WEAR ASPCA GALA GHAAA -_- Tim has performed an Illegal action and has shut down.</p><p> </p><p>Boss: Tim, how much coffee have you had?</p><p> </p><p>Tim: 6 no 9 cups.</p><p> </p><p>Oliver: Kid, you need to switch to decaf.</p><p> </p><p>Tim: EVIL DECAF NOT THE PRECIOUS, IT BURNS US IT DOES.</p><p> </p><p>Dick: Oliver, never mention decaf to Tim!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Alfred: Tim, take a few deep breaths. No one is going to switch you to decaf.</p><p>Tim: Good, good.</p><p>Boss: Ok, Tim, so you finally worked up the nerve to asked Stephine Brown on a date and asked her to the Wayne Gala for the ASPCA. You do not have a tux to wear, do not know how to dance, and given your parents are out of town, you are asking us for help in place of your dad, correct.</p><p> </p><p>Oliver:0-0 =0 How the… you really are the World's Greatest Detective.</p><p> </p><p>Boss: I have been called that. Ok, school will be out in an hour. Oliver uses the zeta tube to get to the cave. Alfred will drive you well and pick up Gordan. Well, l pick up Tim at Gotham Academy. We all meet at Temujin's to get fitted for new tux's. Then we will get some new shoes from Khan's and end the night at Tony's Italian restaurant. I believe you plan on taking Leslie to the Gala, correct Alfred?</p><p> </p><p>Dick: How the hell do you know Babs is attending the Gala and dragging me along?</p><p> </p><p>Oliver: Who says I am going even to be attending the Gala?</p><p> </p><p>Boss: I hired your wife to sing at it, and Commissioner Gordan is attending with his wife, and Babs has not seen her father in some time.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred: How did you figure that out, sir?</p><p> </p><p>Boss: (smirk emoji) I will never tell.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred: I just told you, didn't I.</p><p> </p><p>Boss: yes =)</p><p> </p><p>Tim: I am glad you're in my life Bruce (relieved emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Oliver: 0_0, and people say I plan. Did you know Tim would ask her out now? I do not need a new tuxedo.</p><p> </p><p>Boss: You have added more muscle mass to your frame in the last six months from switching to a more powerful bow. Your current tuxedo will not fit right anymore.</p><p> </p><p>Boss: And I thought we would have only a week instead of two. I'll personally teach you to dance, Tim =) I am your mentor, after all.</p><p> </p><p>Oliver: 0-0 I just tried the shirt on, and it is too tight. See you soon. You know it all.</p><p> </p><p>Boss: =) Clark just called Lois is covering the Gala, and I will not have my best friend in a rental. So he will be joining us.</p><p> </p><p>Boss: Diana's boyfriend Steve Trevor will be joining us as well.</p><p> </p><p>Twitter</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: ahh, young love. (Shares a picture of a blushing Stephine Brown and Tim Drake sharing a small table at Tony's Italian Restaurant).</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: Aww there so cute together.</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: Did you two plans for our groups to run into each other at the end of the night?</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: No comment.</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: you can't prove it!!!</p><p> </p><p>Cassandra Wayne @quietgirl567: Yes, that means. (smug emoji)</p><p> </p><p>James Gordan @marine4Life27 to Bruce Wayne: @nobody197:  I want to say thank you again, Bruce. You did not have to buy me a new tux and a new pair of dress shoes. Bruce, I would have been fine with my old ones. If you did plan with that girlfriend of yours for us to meet up with her group, thank you. It's been six months since I saw Babs last.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: It's the least I could do for you Commissioner, you do so much for Gotham.</p><p> </p><p>Clark Kent@farmboy1:I need to thank you again to Bruce =)</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: It's your first time at a big Gotham Gala. You need to look good.</p><p> </p><p>Steve Trever @ Soldierboy8: Same.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: Np Steve, you're a friend.</p><p> </p><p>Sara Essen Gordan @AmItOmAnLyFoRYoU405 to Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197:  Thank you again you did not have to get me a new dress, clutch, shoes, and accessories ‘Mrs. Kyle’.</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: You're welcome. You're a part of my group of fellow Sailor moon Junkies. It's the least I could do (kitty grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: Same =)</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: ditto</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Two weeks later, Twitter</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: (Blushing emoji) OMG, Tim and I just danced…what the fuck is my father doing here?</p><p> </p><p>Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: (shares a picture of Stephanie and Tim dancing together) ahh, to be young and in lovwhat the fuck is my bastard ex-husband doing here?</p><p> </p><p>Three hours later</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: My bastard of a father tried to take me hostage at gunpoint, and I helped Wonder Woman catch him by kicking him in the balls, then Mom punched him out. I then danced the rest of the night away with Tim. Best first official date ever.</p><p> </p><p>Wonder woman saves ASPCA Gala</p><p> </p><p>By Lois Lane</p><p> </p><p>Chaos erupts at the Wayne gala to help Gotham's ASPCA when Arthur Brown tried to rob the benefit. (More)</p><p> </p><p>May 6, 10 PM</p><p> </p><p>A text message from Bruce Wayne to Dick Grayson…</p><p> </p><p>Bat: Check your glove box. The Jade Dragon is still open and holding your table; Barbara's favorite dishes will be prepared fresh. Your welcome old chum.</p><p> </p><p>12 PM</p><p> </p><p>Old Chum: (tear emoji) thanks, Dad. I have been searching for the right piece for months when I found it. I forgot my wallet, and then I got heled up as I witnessed and helped stop a mugging. But how did you get the Jade Dragon to stay open?</p><p> </p><p>Bat: I saw you eyeing the piece today when I went to commission a piece for Cassandra's 13<sup>th</sup> birthday and picked it up for you, old chum. I Slipped it in your car; well, you were giving your statement. As for the Jade Dragon, I bought the restaurant last year when they were having financial issues as Selina loves the place.</p><p> </p><p>Old chum: You spoil the woman in your life too much. (grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Bat: Yes, I do. And as your long-time girlfriend, Babs is a woman in my life.</p><p> </p><p>Twitter 11 AM</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: (crying emoji) Oh my god (shares picture of a large, tear-shaped garnet pended set in simple silver.) It's my birthstone.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1: Bruce taught Dick well (kitty grin)</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: My gift (tear) (shares a picture of the vintage flying Graysons poster. The original before he was included)</p><p> </p><p>May 12:</p><p> </p><p>Harper Kane @tinkerer7withstuf: 0-0 my new uncle bought me this for my birthday (a sapphire a 1-inch bluebird pended set in gold in gold), and my Mom upgraded my entire toolkit and even turned the guest bedroom into a workshop for me (crying emoji) No one has been so nice to me since my birth mom died.</p><p> </p><p>Twitter July 21th:</p><p> </p><p>Cassandra Wayne @quietgirl567: Match Mom and me we (shares a picture of Cassandra wearing a smaller 1-inch version of the blue cat diamond being held in the arms of Selina wearing The Blue Cat diamond)</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne Official: @YesIAmBruceWayne: Cassandra's Blue Kitten was cut by the same polisher that made Made The Blue Cat, but I had it set locally. Same with Harpers Pendent.</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: Aww cute…lucky little brat. =)</p><p> </p><p>Twitter August 14</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: 0-0 my cousin gave me the deed to the apartment complex I live in for my birthday gift.</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: I thought I was joking when I said you spoil the woman in your life Bruce 0_0 Shit my cousin in law is now my landlord.</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: (Devil smile emoji) You're lucky I like Bab's, or I would raise your rent to spite you.</p><p> </p><p>August 20:</p><p> </p><p>7 AM</p><p> </p><p>Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: (Crying emoji) I just finished packing the last of both my daughter and mines stuff. We are moving into our new Cherry Hill apartment today. Thanks to my friend Kate Kane I only need to pay for the utilities. We are now going to be living in one of the safest neighborhoods in Gotham.</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: (shares a video of Crysta Browncrying as she yells, oh my god, in shock as all of her new friends, along with their husbands, boyfriends, or girlfriend, show up, surprising the mother and daughter to help them move.)</p><p> </p><p>7 PM</p><p> </p><p>Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: (crying emoji) Thanks to the help of my friends, Stephine and I are already unpacked in our new home. Again, thank you all for all your help.</p><p> </p><p>Frank @IAmaHouSeplanT1: (crying emoji) ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. I AM GLADE THIS STRONG WOMAN IS IN A BETTER PLACE AFTER ALL CRYSTAL AND HER DAUGHTER HAVE BEEN THREW!!!! </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Note: Crystal kicked her Addiction to opioids in this earlier than in other cannon and this is known by her Twitter followers.</p><p>Trivia: Tony’s Italian Restaurant is a canonical restaurant in Gotham, in the first batman book to be called Date Knight Batman and Catwoman go there for a date. Typical Gotham hijinks happen. This was one of the last stories before the switch to new earth was made.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Batcat parenting and Girl on Girl.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Twitter: August 21</p><p> </p><p>8 PM</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: 0-0 My boyfriend of like three months took me to Jade Dragon for my birthday and like got me this for my birthday (shares a picture of a 1-inch platinum robin pendant)</p><p> </p><p>Frank @IAmaHouSeplanT1: Such a sweet boy.</p><p> </p><p>Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: DO NOT JUMP IN BED WITH HIM!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: MOM I AM NOT THAT EASY!!!!!!!! And am already home. He knows my curfew.</p><p> </p><p>Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: Aww, it's a beautiful piece that reminds me of the one my dad got me.</p><p> </p><p>September 2</p><p> </p><p>A phone call between Helena Wayne and Karen Starr</p><p> </p><p>Helena: I need a fast pickup Kara, Orphan is chasing me, and the little girl is like the fucking Terminator, I knocked out the other Huntress with a stunner bolt, BUT MY ADOPTIVE NOT-SISTER FREAKEN CAUGHT MY LAST ONE…</p><p> </p><p>Karen: Little busy right now fighting some weird tentacle mon Watch your hand's mister. I am not into that!</p><p> </p><p>Helena: Just fry the thing with your heat vision and get me the fuck gaaaa. THAT WAS COSE, YOU LITTLE BITCH…wait, there is actually something you're not into when it comes to sex?</p><p> </p><p>Orphan: THAT WAS A WARNING SHOT, NEXT ONE GOES IN YOUR KNEE, YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY I KNOW YOUR Huntress1@BatCat6911 ON TWITTER, GIVE UP AND PREPARE FOR AN INTENTCE INTARAGATION BY THE BIRDS OF PRAY AND BATMAN…ALSO I AM SO GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS FOR CHEAP SHOOTING MY FAVORITE TEACHER!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Huntress: Who knew someone so quiet could yell so loud.</p><p> </p><p>Karen: I do not like tentacles after that creature we fought in the war.</p><p> </p><p>Helena: EWWW Gross, thanks for reminding me of <strong>that</strong>. It (ellge) did things to me. For three hours, FOR THREE HOURS OF FORCED PLEASURE, BEFORE WE KILLED THE THING!  Hurry up, she is fucking good, and I do not want to hurt my not-sister.</p><p> </p><p>Karen: Tossed the perverted tentacle monster into space on a trajectory for the sun, and I am on my way.</p><p> </p><p>A minute later</p><p> </p><p>Helena: (kissing sound) I am so eating you out for getting me out of that.</p><p> </p><p>Karen: Look, Hel, you're hot as fuck, but you know I like boys.</p><p> </p><p>Helena: I do not care. You just saved my ass from having to meet Not-mom and Not-dad. So, I am eating you out as thanks. Besides, you know I am a foodie, and I have been dying to know what Kryptonian pussy tastes like. (you can hear the grin).</p><p> </p><p>Karen: (hmmm ugg) Fine, I'll indulge you this once. Besides, I have been curious about what it would be like to be with both you or another woman bestie. Our phones are still connected.</p><p> </p><p>Call ends.</p><p> </p><p>Deleted Recording form Helena Wayne W-phone</p><p> </p><p>Kara: God fuck...fuck, that was better than even Mister Terrific cock. Fuck we are ssssoooooooo doing this again. I can't believe you hid that bat and cat tattoo from me for three years.</p><p> </p><p>Helena: heheheh. For a beginner, you were great. Ya, well, I am glad you like it. Mmm, your Kryptonian pussy is just delicious, and I can't wait to eat it again.</p><p> </p><p>Kara: (Seductive) What's stopping you, you frisky foodie?</p><p> </p><p>Helena: I want to cuddle in these massive and soft pillows I am so jealous you have for a bit longer. Then I am going to sit on your face and dive right back in.</p><p> </p><p>Kara: (smug grin) Ya, everyone loves my pair of pillows, but yours are great too, Hel. (giggles) No one has ever actually been able to keep up with me in bed till now. You are definitely your parent's child. Hel, I can see More EM waves than there should be coming from your phone</p><p> </p><p>Helena: Duck, I accidentally turned on the audio recording app. I am going to delete this.</p><p> </p><p>Kara: You do not have to.</p><p> </p><p>Helena: Mom always said never leave incriminating things on your phone, and your sexting pictures have been leaked; how many times?</p><p> </p><p>Kara: Hmm.</p><p> </p><p>Helena: (shocked yell) YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Kara: Well, unintentionally, it's been twice, I think. However, I also intentionally leaked pics quite often.</p><p> </p><p>Helena: You are such an attention whore, but your my Attention whore now. I am putting better encryption on your phone for when I sexet you. I am not having my body shared all over the internet, so your not leaking anything with me in it. Those will be just for us.</p><p> </p><p>Kara: Aww, good, I love sexting. You realize your phone is still rec (plop).</p><p> </p><p>Recoding ended and erased.</p><p> </p><p>September 9</p><p> </p><p>J.L. Finch@Daliygossip81: This just in my gossips seems the self-made and constantly horny billionaire Karen Starr has switched teams (shares a picture of Karen Starr kissing Helena Wayne in a restaurant in Metropolis.) and, she seems actually to be satisfied for a change.</p><p> </p><p>Karen Starr@Downgirl58: Duck, how the hell did she catch us? I thought we escaped in time. And I am bi thank you very much.</p><p> </p><p>Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: This is almost as bad as if I was caught by not-sister last week!</p><p> </p><p>Karen Starr@Downgirl58: Hay, that got us together, so I am glad it almost happened. Perhaps I need to give you another spankin (smirk emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: (blushing grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Karen Starr@Downgirl58: oh, you do want a spanking, don't you (Grinning emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: Yes, why the fuck are we having this discussion on Twitter, especially when we are cuddling?</p><p> </p><p>J.L. Finch@Daliygossip81: Good for you two. Don't have too much fun. (grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197:  I have never seen her in my life. However, there is something so familiar about the dark-haired girl. I follow her foodie tweets, though, she has great taste in food (kitty grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Karen Starr@Downgirl58: Sorry, Hel. However, for the first time, I am no longer in the mood. I feel like my mom just walked in on us. 0_0</p><p> </p><p>Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: 0_0 I understand completely. Let's just cuddle. Why the fuck are we still talking on Twitter.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Gotham Gazette website:</p><p> </p><p>September 23</p><p> </p><p>Gotham's Prince adopts heir to Drake Industries.</p><p> </p><p>By Viki Vale</p><p> </p><p>As you all know, Jack and Janet Drake died last week due to drinking poisoned water before Batman saved them from voodoo cult leader Obeah Man. A scandal had already broken out when it was learned The Drake's have been leaving their son alone for long periods of time without proper supervision. (more)</p><p> </p><p>Friday, October 3…2:30 PM</p><p> </p><p>A phone call from Bruce Wayne to Tim Drake</p><p> </p><p>Tim: What is it, Boss? Did something happen at the office?</p><p> </p><p>Boss: You need to talk to Stephine. She is worried about you. She just called me fifteen times asking if you're ok. Look, I regret that I pushed everyone away, even Alfred, when my parents were murdered, and I do not want you to make the same mistake I did. Stephine can help you through this tragedy. So do not make the mistake of pushing her out, as she genuinely cares about you.</p><p> </p><p>Tim: I'll all call her tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>Boss: No, what you're going to do is take a shower. As Selina personally went to go pick her up, you're going to open up to her and let her in. You will not regret it, ok. I also ordered you and Stephanie's favorite pizza from Tony's; it will be at the Manor around the same time Stephanie does. You can enjoy it in your room. I would prefer it if you kept your door open. Selina called Stephanie's mom and got permission to bring her over to see you, and Crystal is also worried about you.</p><p> </p><p>Tim: You really think it will be good to open up to her about this.</p><p> </p><p>Boss: Yes, look, I know you know she is Spoiler but have not told her you know, she knows your Robin but has yet to tell you she knows. I know you have not told each other because you both worry it could affect your relationship, and you also are not aware if she knows I am Batman, Catwoman is training her, she knows. You two are good for each other, and it's good to be honest in a relationship so you can tell her everything.</p><p> </p><p>Tim: You sure about that? I do not want to be the reason.</p><p> </p><p>Boss: Yes, I am sure, now look, I know that emotions will be running high, and you two are young. I already gave you the talk before your second date. However, Selina and I agreed when you moved in. You should have some protection in your room just in case, so there are several different sized condoms1 in your room along with spermicidal lube there in the nightstand. You're too young to consider having sex yet. Still, your young and full of hormones, so make sure to remember them if something does happen. Now Stephine's mom put her on birth control, but there is still the chance of pregnancy even on birth control, so make sure if something does happen, the two of you also use both a rubber and the lube. I know you would take responsibility for your actions, and I want you to know Selina, and I will make sure you two are taken care of financially if something results from something that could happen in the future. However, you're too young for a child right now.</p><p> </p><p>Tim: (embarrassed) Nothing will happen, but I will remember the items if something does. Besides Alfred, Crass and Selina will be home.</p><p> </p><p>Boss: About that, Actually, Alfred is taking Lessie out to dinner and the opera tonight, Crass is trying out for the dance team and then spending the night with Harper at Kates. Steph was going to be with them too. However, she will be coming here. Selina is meeting me for an early dinner; Alfred will drop her at the office. You will be home alone for a bit, so I informed you about the condoms and lube. However, you earned my trust, Tim, which is why I am letting the two of you be alone for a while.</p><p> </p><p>Tim: (Happy sounding) I am glad you trust me, Bruce.</p><p>Boss: Hangs up the phone.</p><p> </p><p>Accidental recording on Selina Kyle's phone</p><p> </p><p>Steph: Like, what are you doing here, Cat-Sensei; oh no is like Tim, ok he has not been to school since his parents, ya is Tim ok?<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Selina: Hi Steph, Tim is fine he is just grieving. However, I am here to bring you to see Tim, and I got your mom's permission already. There will be a fresh pizza from Tony's waiting when you get to the manner.</p><p> </p><p>(sound of a Car door opening)</p><p> </p><p>Steph: What are we waiting around for? (Slams the door shut)</p><p> </p><p>Selina: Say be careful with the car. It's a classic. This is a 62' Jag Bruce and I restored together.</p><p> </p><p>Steph: Sorry, I am just worried about Tim.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: I know. Look, Bruce is telling Tim your Spoiler, and I am telling you Tim is the new Robin, now you do not have to pussyfoot around with the details of what all happened. Don't give me that look; I am your mentor; I made a decision. It's good, to be honest in a relationship. Believe it or not, Bruce and I are always honest with each other.</p><p> </p><p>Steph: (quiet)thanks.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: I will always look out for you, Stephine Brown. Meow, you will be allowed just this once to eat in Tim's room, and I would prefer it if you keep the door open. As you know, Crass is trying out for the Dance team. You do not know that Alfred will be dropping me off for an early dinner with Bruce after we get to the manor, and then he will be out for the night as he is taking Leslie to dinner and then the opera.</p><p>Now I trust that Nothing will happen as you are too young to be having sex. However, you and Tim are young, dumb, and he is full of cum, and well, I know your mom has you on the pill there is still a slim chance of pregnancy on it. So I want you to know there are several sizes of condoms in his nightstand and some spermicidal lube. Make sure you remember to use them if you do something stupid. You do not want to have a baby at your age. Yes, Tim can and would take responsibility. Bruce and I would make the two of you would be able to support a baby, but it's a huge responsibility and one you're not ready for.</p><p> </p><p>Steph: I am not THAT EASY, AND I STILL HAVE MY V CARD! But thanks, Selina, let me know about the condoms.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: (You can hear the affection) Like I said, I will always look out for you, my young apprentice. (Naughty) do you want some pointers in case something does happen, and you lose your cherry?</p><p> </p><p>Steph: SELINA!!!!!!(meek) Yes. Do not tell Mom!!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Selina: Shit, my recording app is on. It's like some act of god keeps turning mine or Bruce's on!!!!!! I will delete the evidence Steph. Never leave anything incriminating on your phone.</p><p> </p><p>The recording ends and is deleted.</p><p> </p><p>10 PM…</p><p> </p><p>A phone call from Renee Montoya to Kate Kane</p><p> </p><p>Kate: Hey Renee, what is it?</p><p> </p><p>Renee (drunk) came out of the closet, and Papa disowned me.</p><p> </p><p>Kate: Renee, where are you?</p><p> </p><p>Renee: The Hold up.</p><p> </p><p>Kate: Stay there. I am going to come get you. I am hanging up. Stay there.</p><p> </p><p>Phone call of Kate Kane to The Hold Up</p><p> </p><p>Bartender: You have reached The Hold up.</p><p> </p><p>Kate: It's Kate. Did you take Renee's keys?</p><p> </p><p>Bartender: Yes.</p><p> </p><p>Kate: Good, you're getting a bonus on your next check. I am coming to get her, make sure she stays there. She just came out to her parents, and her dad did not take it well. I just need to get someone to watch Harper, Crass, and Cullen for a bit.</p><p> </p><p>A phone call from Kate Kane to Barbara Gordan</p><p> </p><p>Barbara: Kell's Toenail fungus removal Barbara speaking.</p><p> </p><p>Kate: God, could you please start answering your phone like a normal person Bab's? Have you started patrol yet?</p><p> </p><p>Barbara: Yes, why?</p><p> </p><p>Kate: Shit, I need to get Renee. She just came out to her parents, and her dad did not take it well. I need to go pick her up at The Hold Up, and the other girls have been out for an hour already.</p><p> </p><p>Barbara: That's your lesbian Bar. Dicks home. He had a test and wanted to get some extra sleep. He should still be awake, though. If he does not answer, I will return, but it will be 10 minutes before I can get there.</p><p>Kate: Thanks. I’ll give him a try. If you do not hear back, it means Dick was awake.</p><p>Barbara: (grin) That's what I always say.</p><p>Kate: I know. (hangs up)</p><p> </p><p>A phone call from Kate Kane to Dick Grayson</p><p> </p><p>Dick: What is it, Kate? I was just going to go to bed.</p><p> </p><p>Kate: The girls are all already on patrol. I was hoping you would not mind watching Collen, Harper, and Crass for me for a bit, and it is their bedtime. I know two of them are vigilantes. However, I still do not want to leave them alone. Renee just came out to her father, and it did not end well. She is drunk</p><p> </p><p>Dick: I will be right up, so go get your girl.</p><p> </p><p>Kate: Than… he hung up.</p><p> </p><p>Text message between Selina Kyle And Crystal Brown</p><p> </p><p>Crystal: Selina is Stephanie ok, I can't get ahold of her, I want to trust her, did something happen with her Job? I have not heard from her.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: She forgot to turn her phone on after school. Neither Bruce nor I could find evidence of sex. They just fell they fell asleep. (shares a picture of a fully clothed Stephine and Tim on the floor next to two empty pizza boxes still dressed but sleeping, Stephine laying drooling on Tim's chest.)</p><p> </p><p>Crystal: aww, cute. I was worried when I did not hear anything good. I'll take her home tomorrow after our Sailor Moon night. Man, time fly's I can't believe we finished the original series and are moving on to the Movies. Then the new series.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: I forgot they rebooted Sailor Moon. I have never seen the new series. Bruce put them in Tim's bed and covered them with the blanket. He is such a softy Batdad. We are not going on patrol tonight as Alfred is staying at Leslie's tonight.</p><p> </p><p>Crystal: Good, that makes me feel better. I know my daughter is a vigilante. You have trained and are still training exceptionally well, and so is Tim. I know just how good the security features are in The Manner; however, I feel better knowing there are adults in the house. I feel guilty that I had to leave her home alone so often as I had to before Kate gave us the apartment.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: We will also be here for your Crystal Gotham's vigilantes to look after their own, and you may not be out there fighting for justvengeance, but you are still part of the Batcat family =).</p><p> </p><p>Crystal: and I am glad to be a part of it =).</p><p> </p><p>October 6 accidental recording on Renee Montoya's phone</p><p> </p><p>Kate: Renee, I want you to move in with me, but first I need to tell you something, it may change your mind about me.</p><p> </p><p>Renee: What is it?</p><p> </p><p>Kate: I am Batwoman, Harper Is Bluebird, yes, I endanger her, but she is well armored for the most part and listens well in the field, and I am constantly training her to make sure she can be safe, and so are Batman, Catwoman and the rest of the Birds.</p><p> </p><p>Renee: I knew you were Batwoman since you called me about the late Marcus Row. I am a good Detective Kate. The bats and cat have been good for Gotham, so I am not going to turn you in. here I was thinking that I was thinking you were married to a man or another woman with how the last few days have been. (you can hear the smile) So now I know Sara has always been right, and Bruce is Batman, which would make Selina Catwoman, Cassandra is Orphan, Stephine is Spoiler. I want to say Barbara is Batgirl, Tim is the third Robin, and Dick was the first Robin and is now Nightwing. So, are Harper and Collen ok with me moving in? I do not want to make them uncomfortable.</p><p> </p><p>Kate: (happy) Of course you would figure it out. Yes, I talked with them about it yesterday. Now, honey, I am going to make sure you make it easier on the bottle.</p><p> </p><p>Renee: I am ok with that. I know I have been resorting to it too much.</p><p> </p><p>Twitter: October 12, 6 AM</p><p> </p><p>Renee Montoya @Ask the Question9: Dad disowned me last Friday =(. However, I am now out of the closet and all packed up to move in with my beautiful girlfriend Kate Kane and her wonderful Kids =).</p><p> </p><p>Harvey bullock @ Badge#0441: What!!!!! Yu's want me to beat your dad's up, partner?</p><p> </p><p>Renee Montoya @Ask the Question9: Thanks for the offer. It means a lot Bullock but no.</p><p> </p><p>Harvey bullock @ Badge#0441: I am helping you move in. It's non-negotiable. Be there in 30 min.</p><p> </p><p>James Gordan @marine4Life27: Same kid, see you soon, Montoya.</p><p> </p><p>Harvey bullock @ Badge#0441: (teary-eyed emoji) Thanks.</p><p>(Again, the members of her Sailor Moon Bing Group show up to help with the move along with their significant others.)</p><p> </p><p>October 24: Phone call form Hernando Montoya to Renee Montoya2</p><p> </p><p>Renee: Hello, Papa?</p><p> </p><p>Hernando: Hay Renee, look ___I am sorry for how I acted a few weeks ago. I talked to your boss, partner, and then Father Blood. I am so sorry for how I treated you. If you can ever forgive me, I hope you can come to a family dinner with your girlfriend and her kids. Your mother and I would love to meet them.</p><p> </p><p>Renee: (sniffing) I will, Papa. I need to get back to work.</p><p>Hernando: Goodbye, sweet pea.</p><p>Call ends.</p><p> </p><p>October 25: Twitter</p><p> </p><p>Hernando Montoya @ Montoya Grossers16: (Crying emoji) My daughter, her lovely girlfriend Kate, and Kate's adopted kids showed up for family dinner tonight (shares a picture of both families smiling at the dinner table)</p><p> </p><p>Halloween</p><p> </p><p>An accidental recording's off Huntress's and Powergirl's phones and intentionally recording the Birds of Prey's com line.</p><p> </p><p>Helena: Fuck, I thought it would be safe to come into Gotham today. All I wanted was to share some Chinese takeout from the Jade Dragon with my girlfriend. Now I got the three fucking pint-sized members of the Birds of Prey chasing me, and one of them has an itchy trigger finger and is armed with a FUCKING SHOCK RIFLE.</p><p> </p><p>Bluebird: I GOT LOTS OF BATTERY PACKS FOR MY RIFLE! I AM GOING TO HIT YOU EVENTUALLY!!!!!! SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL STOP RUING. THIS WAS ARE LAST TIME TRICK OR TREATING. ORPHAN HAS NEVER BEEN, AND YOU RUINED IT!!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler: SPOILER ALERT: YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY THIS TIME!!!!!! YOU CHEAP SHOTTED ARE FAVORITE TEACHER A SECOND TIME!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Orphan: VENGEANCE IS THE NIGHT!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Helena: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP CATCHING MY STUN BOLTS YOU PIT SIZED TERMINATOR!!!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Orphan: I AM ORPHAN. HEAR ME, ROAR!!!!! TAKE THIS BACK. IT'S NOT MY COLOR!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Helena: ok, time to take Miss Trigger Happy.</p><p> </p><p>Sound of a smoke bomb going off</p><p> </p><p>(Fight sounds sound)</p><p> </p><p>Helena: (aaaawwwwweeeeeee!) You fucking brat, STOP BITING ME ONLY. KARA GETS TO BITE ME!</p><p> </p><p>Bluebird: Mnevmumer! (you can hear Bluebird's jaw clenching down harder)</p><p> </p><p>Helena:  Shit Call Kara.</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler: DOGPILE!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Kara: hmm, Did you already get the Chinese from that place your mom loved yet?</p><p> </p><p>Helena: HAD TO CHANGE CLOTHES AND THEN I DID NOT EVEN GET TO THE JADE DRAGON… AAHHH, STOP BITING ME, YOU LITTLE BITCH. HOW DO YOU LIKE IT (Chomp)</p><p> </p><p>Bluebird: (gaahhhh) That hurts. Take some of this (louder CHOMP and what sounds like a dog growling)</p><p> </p><p>Orphan: (chomp)</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler: (CHOMPY CHOMP)</p><p> </p><p>Helena: (aahhhhhhhaaaaeeeeeeeeeeee) YOU CRAZY LITTLE BITCH'S JUST PULLED DOWN YOUR GOD DANM MASKS JUST TO BITE ME HOWS THIS FEEL (CHOMP…CHOMP)</p><p> </p><p>Kara: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON???</p><p> </p><p>Helena: I AM FIGHTING THE JUNIOR MEMBERS OF THE BIRDS OF PREY TWO OF WICH ARE LITERALLY BITING MY ASS, AND I BIT THEM BACK. I NEED SOME HELP WITH THESE CRAZY HALF PINTS, SO POWERGIRL, COME HELP YOUR GIRLFRIEND.</p><p> </p><p>Kara: I am almost to Gotham (pow boom) fuck what just, Hel, I am now in a fight with myself, and Wondergirl I may be a bit.</p><p> </p><p>Supergirl: It's a</p><p> </p><p>Wonder girl: Trap</p><p> </p><p>(Super Wonder fighting sounds)</p><p> </p><p>Supergirl: (chomp)</p><p> </p><p>Powergirl: (ahhwwwwieee) that hurts. Why the fuck did you just bite me, you little bitch?</p><p> </p><p>(world stopping PPPPPOOOOOWWWWWWW)</p><p> </p><p>Powergirl: I taught I taw a puddy tat (thud)</p><p> </p><p>Supergirl: To distract you well, Dana knocks you out superjuggs. God, those things are obscenely huge. I feel flat.</p><p> </p><p>Wonder girl: I think they're even larger than Diana's. Super wonder wins again (sound of high five)</p><p> </p><p>Supergirl: Got that right, I have got the meta restraint collar (click)</p><p> </p><p>Helena: Shit. Where did Bluebird go?</p><p> </p><p>Bluebird: SMILE FOR THE BIRDY BITCH!!!!!!!!! (bazzzap)</p><p> </p><p>Orphan: Mission accomplished ice cream from Cats Cream later?</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler: Hehehehehehe Spoiler alert: Birds of Prey win again.</p><p> </p><p>Bluebird: (happy-sounding) I would say we earned Ice cream. We are going to triple hand and leg cuff this bitch along with zip ties. She is not getting away from us. The adults would laugh at us.</p><p> </p><p>the interrogation of Huntress and Powergirl can be read in the next work: DC social media companion works.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>1: neither Bruce nor Selina have any desire to know what size condoms any of their kids need.</p><p> </p><p>2: I view the Montoya's as catholic now it may seem fast for forgiveness. However, Renee loves her family, and her father loves her. Father Blood is very knowledgeable about the Church's history and explained the anti-gay stance of the had to do with the command (be fruitful and multiply). Historically, two women loving each other were not frowned upon by the Church as it was thought they had Nothing to do with procreation(Church was misogynistic). Not 100% on this next part; however, it is not until procreation was better than female/female couplings were frowned on. However, Father Blood (and myself) feel that is not the case anymore as all two women need to do to have a baby is going to a sperm bank and chose a doner. Also, unlike many practitioners, I know a lot about the I do know many the History of Christianity from The teaching company religious studies lectures on the subject I have listened to and own. Also, this is a Fluffyer DC universe then Mainline cannon =).</p><p> </p><p>Hernando is not quite yet completely comfortable with his daughter's sexuality yet, but he is making a reasonable effort, and Kate and Renee are being respectful of Hernando and not being super PDA</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Holidays</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Moments from some of the DC family's holiday celebrations. Bruce Wayne reveals some hidden talents.<br/>Note: I added Selina singing another song to the karaoke party.<br/>now edited with Grammarly plus.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Twitter</p><p> </p><p>Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: (shares a photo of a diamond engagement ring with a sizeable azure diamond half of it was cut to look like a cat’s head; the other matched the head of a bat.) You may not know it. However, I have been dating my best friend of ten years, Attention Whore CEO Karen Starr for the last few months…. she asked me to marry her yesterday, and I said yes…0_0 I’m getting married.</p><p> </p><p>Karen Starr@2TheOfficalKarenStarr: Sorry boys, but my tits are off the market now =)).</p><p> </p><p>Lois Lane Kent @Armybrat1: You’re not yelling at her for calling you an Attention Whore?</p><p> </p><p>Karen Starr@2TheOfficalKarenStarr: (shrugging emoji) She speaks the truth. I am an Attention Whore.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Manhunter@ BatCat6911: After losing in rock, paper, scissors to the other Huntress, I have agreed to change my name. Criminals beware, for I am Manhunter, Here Me ROAR…!</p><p> </p><p>Huntress @Itsacrossbow1989: (smug grin emoji).</p><p> </p><p>Powergirl @Up, Up, and,away1a6: That’s my girl hunting your evil asses!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Orphan @Batgirlnumber2: I Manhunters bit ass =)</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler @SpoilerWaring4Brick: I got the other cheek (smug grin)</p><p> </p><p>Manhunter@ BatCat6911: I am going to give you two the iron claw again next time I see you!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Orphan @Batgirlnumber2: Trying good to luck.</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler @SpoilerWaring4Brick: YOU GOT LUCKY LAST TIME!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Thanksgiving twitter</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197:  the record is 4-1 in Helena’s favor now (Shows a picture of Helena Wayne giving a dual iron claw to Cassandra Wayne and Stephine Brown laughing maniacally.)</p><p>(The Real-world thoughts of Selina Kyle: Nothing like occasionally tormenting your little sister.)</p><p> </p><p>Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: (Shares a picture of some turkey, mashed potatoes, homemade gravy, and green bean casserole.) (drooling emoji). My new employer Selina Kyle invited my fiancée and me to Thanksgiving dinner with her family. God, Bruce Wayne’s butler is an amazing cook.</p><p> </p><p>Karen Starr@Downgirl58: to Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: I tried to poach him for you, but he refused =(</p><p> </p><p>Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: =) I am going to do that thing you really like when we get home.</p><p> </p><p>Karen Starr@Downgirl58: (Naughty grinning emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Harleen Quinzel@Arkhamdoc1992: God, if I did not love my Pamy, I would ask the man to marry me now. Thanks for the invite, Kitty cat.</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197 to Harleen Quinzel@Arkhamdoc1992: You two have been working hard to keep parole this time. You deserved a great meal. =)</p><p> </p><p>Pamala Isley@gothamsiren1966: He even made Vegetarian tofurky, vegetarian gravy, and this green bean casserole is vegetarian. (drooling emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: I know I love it when Timmykins invites me over for dinner. Alfred is a fantastic cook.</p><p> </p><p>Tim Drake @ILovecoffee436: I really should learn to cook from Alfred.</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: Timmy, you set fire to water in foods 1. Twice you're staying out of the Kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>Tim Drake @ILovecoffee436: It was not water. It was Macaroni and Cheese, then spaghetti sauce. I admit it. I can’t cook. (shame emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: Lucky I can, and all I care about is that you make a great cup of coffee, Timmy. (heart eye emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Tim Drake @ILovecoffee436: (proud emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Cassandra Wayne @quietgirl567: The is yummy food(pleased emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Harper Kane @tinkerer7withstuf: So glad I was adopted by Mom the occasional meal made by Alfred’s food is such a bonus.</p><p> </p><p>Ted Grant @Offical Ted Wildcat Grant: I am glad I was invited to Thanksgiving as Alfred is a great cook.</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197 to Ted Grant @Offical Ted Wildcat Grant: Of course, you’re always going to be invited. You trained both Bruce and Me, Ted.</p><p> </p><p>Ted Grant @Offical Ted Wildcat Grant: =) You two make this old man proud to have Trained you.</p><p> </p><p>James Gordan @marine4Life27: So glad I got invited to attend its been a while since I saw Babs.</p><p> </p><p>Sara Essen Gordan @AmItOmAnLyFoRYoU405: I need the recipe for this Green bean casserole.</p><p> </p><p>Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: Oh, same, same. God can’t wait for the pie.</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: Oh, you’re in for a treat. Alfred’s pies are worth killing for! And it's all kosher, too (heart-eyed emoji, drooling emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: Even if I got in a massive argument with Bruce, I would always show up for dinner.</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: THERES PIE (thinking emoji)I think I am going to be gaining two, no three pounds from this dinner, and it's so worth it!!!!!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Helena Bertinelli @mobprincess1: I so get why Leslie stays with Alfred despite him not asking her to marry him or at least move in the 20 years they have been dating. Pass the potatoes. So! Good!</p><p> </p><p>Leslie Thompkins @ SuperDoc457: (knowing Grin emoji.) He is my mister, as I am married to my work Helena. Wait for it.</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: (kitty grin) Wait for it.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred Pennyworth@Alwaysthere16: (humble emoji) Well, I am well versed in the culinary arts. I have not prepared a holiday meal in seven years. Ever since his return, Master Bruce has made the holiday meals and given me the day off.</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: 0_0 BRUCE HAS ALWAYS BURNED CRUMPETS WHEN HE TRIES TO MAKE THEM…YET CAN COOK THIS…I taste Redhead.</p><p> </p><p>Helena Bertinelli @mobprincess1: 0-0 BRUCE CAN COOK!!!!!!!!!!! Selina is a lucky fucking bitch who I suddenly have the desire to fit for a pair of concrete shoes.</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: 0_0 MY COUSIN CAN ACTUALLY COOK!!!!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: Barbara has performed an illegal action and has shut down… Rebooting: Where is the PIE? I NEED SOMETHING SWEET TO DROWND MY SHOCK IN!!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: to Helena Bertinelli @mobprincess1: Remember what happened last time you tried to attack me (smug grin).</p><p> </p><p>Helena Bertinelli @mobprincess1: (scared emoji) I will be a good girl.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: Is it really so shocking that I am a good cook? And for the record, for whatever reason, I just can’t make a crumpet. (shame emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197 to Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: YES IT IS.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: You’re a better cook than me, Selina.</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: (grin emoji) Good answer your, getting lucky tonight (naughty grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: (naughty grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: Ewwww (Takes another bite of pie.) THE PIE IS SO GOOD!</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: Agreed to both (Takes another bite of pie)</p><p> </p><p>Cassandra Wayne @quietgirl567: Pie good.  Ewww parents. Please pie more.</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: Glad I am not staying at the manor tonight.</p><p> </p><p>Two hours later</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: (Sweatdrop emoji) Of course, a blizzard hits!</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359 to Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: Alfred put Mom and Dad on the other side of the manor, I have a fresh pack of condoms in my purse, let's show Bruce and Selina what loud really is (Naughty grin)</p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Karen Starr@Downgirl58 to Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: You want to show them how loud I can be? (naughty grin emoji) It will drown out your Not Parents (naughty grin)</p><p> </p><p>Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: You’re on top. I do not want to hear them going at it. Once mom gets going, she does not know how to be quiet.</p><p> </p><p>Christmas</p><p> </p><p>Paula Crock@ FormerSupervilleness68: (tear emoji) I have both my girls’ home with me for Christmas for the first time in years, and my eldest brought my granddaughter and her husband, well my youngest brought her boyfriend. (Shares a picture of Herself, Jade Nguyen-Harper, Artemis Crock, Lian Nguyen-Harper, Wally West, and Will Harper)</p><p> </p><p>3 PM</p><p> </p><p>Paula Crock@ FormerSupervilleness68: (crying emoji) OH MY GOD, MY NEW FRIEND, SELINA KYLE AND HER BOYFRIEND, JUST DROPPED THIS OFF LETTER OFF FOR ME, I WILL EVENTUALLY BE ABLE TO WALK AGAIN. (Shares a picture of the letter from Wayne enterprise saying that despite the age of her injuries, she is a good candidate for the Neural Implant technology and that the Wayne Foundation is paying for everything.)</p><p> </p><p>Jade Nguyen-Harper @IhateSportsmaster1: OH, MY FUCKING GOD (Crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Artemis Crock @ IHateSportsmaster2010: MOM IS GOING TO WALK!!!!!! (Crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Will Harper @ CloneWars2010: (Crying emoji) SO HAPPY FOR MY MOTHER-IN-LAW!!! (Shares a video of Paula Crock opening and reading the letter, then Jade Nguyen-Harper, Artemis Crock tearfully hugging their mother.)</p><p> </p><p>Wally West@KidSlomo110: (crying emoji) I AM SO HAPPY FOR MY GIRLFRIENDS MOTHER!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Jade Nguyen-Harper @IhateSportsmaster1 to Will Harper @ CloneWars2010: (blushing emoji) YOUR ON THE COUCH FOR TWO DAYS FOR SHARING THAT VIDEO!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Will Harper @ CloneWars2010: Worth it to see you so happy, Kitty.</p><p> </p><p>Jade Nguyen-Harper @IhateSportsmaster1: (blushing emoji’s) You’re not on the couch.</p><p> </p><p>Frank @IAmaHouSeplanT1: (Crying emoji) SO BEAUTIFUL PALA DESERVES TO WALK AGAIN!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>New Year’s Eve</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: The family's two movie/tv show groups agreed to a Karaoke New Year’s Party. Selina convinced my stick-in-the-mud cousin Bruce to humiliate himself by singing three songs. He even agreed to go up after Dinah Queen (big grin). However, first up, the Saloir Moon Watchers group has a group song to sing.</p><p> </p><p>(Kate real-world thoughts: Really the Justice League New Year’s party =) )</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne Official: @YesIAmBruceWayne: (Shares a video of the entire Group of SM junkies singing the English theme song for Sailor moon well doing a coordinated dance routine., which is perfectly coordinated and sung) 0_0 they had to have practiced this.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur Curry @TheclearO73: My wife has a voice to challenge the sirens themselves (Shares a video of Mera curry’ lovely voice singing American Boys by Halestorm)</p><p> </p><p>Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: (Shares a video of Stephine and Harper singing a duet I am Moana (Song of the Ancestors)) To think they say Disney princesses suck (grinning emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Cullen Kane@Parkrowrow12: (jaw-dropping emoji) Harper can actually sing!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Jade Nguyen-Harper @IhateSportsmaster1: (Shares a video of Artemis Crock badly singing Sk8er boi) Sis could never sing hehehehe feel the humiliation baby sister (Grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Paula Crock@ FormerSupervilleness68 to Jade Nguyen-Harper @IhateSportsmaster1: Be nice to your sister Jade, and It's your turn.</p><p> </p><p>Paula Crock@ FormerSupervilleness68: 0_0 That’s my eldest for you always full of surprises (shares video of Jade beautifully singing the Mandarin version of Refection from Mulan 2020)</p><p> </p><p>Will Harper @ CloneWars2010: My wife has the voice of an angel! (Heart eye emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Cassandra Wayne @quietgirl567: 0_0 Can sing Mom (shares a video of Selina Kyle singing Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benatar)</p><p> </p><p>Steve Trever @ Soldierboy8: My angel can do almost anything, but she can’t sing (shares video of Diana Prince singing the Star-Spangled Banner, badly)</p><p> </p><p>Steve Trever @ Soldierboy8: 0_0 Her devil of a mother, on the other hand, can has the voice of an Angel (shares a video of Hippolyta Prince beautifully singing Sympathy for the Devil by The Rolling Stones.)</p><p> </p><p>Iris Allen@Copsdaughter4: (Embarrassed emoji) Of course they would choose this song (Shares a video of the Entire Male Flash family singing Flash by Queen. Jay Garrick in the lead and having a surprisingly good voice.)</p><p> </p><p>Barry Allen@SloMo4: That’s my wife =) (Shares a video of Iris beautifully singing Bonny Portmore by Loreena McKennitt)</p><p> </p><p>Harper Kane @tinkerer7withstuf: Girl Power!!!!! (Shares a video of Kate Kane, Selina Kyle, Dinah Queen, Helena Bertinelli, and Barbara Gordon perfectly singing I Feel Like a Woman by Shania Twain.)</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: That’s my baby girl!!!!!! (Kitty grin emoji) (Shares a video of a brightly blushing Cassandra Wayne beautifully singing the English version of Reflection.)</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: Of course, he would sing that song. He watched the movie with Cassandra nine times. eh heh heh, he is actually not bad (Shares a video of Dick Grayson singing Make a man out of you from the animated Mulan movie)</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: (Smile emoji) (Shares a video of Alfred and Leslie singing Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John and Kiki Dee)</p><p> </p><p>Dinah Queen @ prettybird220: Why would he sing that. Oli really can’t sing (Shares a video of Oliver Queen badly singing The Touch by Stan Bush)</p><p> </p><p>Cullen Kane@Parkrowrow12: Mom can sing too 0_0 (Shares a video of Kate Kane doing an excellent job of singing Lost in the Woods from frozen II)</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: Aww, my baby can sing =) yes, we both like the Frozen Movies. (Shares a video of a blushing Harper Kane singing Let It Go from Frozen)</p><p> </p><p>James Gordan @marine4Life27: My girl can sing so sweetly (Shares a video of Barbara Gordon doing a fantastic Job singing I am The Fire by Halestorm.)</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: (Sweatdrop emoji) Of course they would sing that particular song… -_-; (Shares video of Harleen Quinzel, Selina Kyle, and Pamala Isley singing Bat Romance)</p><p> </p><p>Frank @IAmaHouSeplanT1: GO IVY GO, GO IVY GO!</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: This song really fits our relationship at the start of it (shares a video of Selina, Harleen Quinzel, Pamala Isley, joined by Kate Kane, and Crystal Brown singing with Selina in the lead I Won’t Say (I’m In Love) from Disneys Hercules)</p><p> </p><p>James Gordan @marine4Life27: That’s my fellow Marine (Shares a video of John Stewart doing a great job of singing You Can’t Always Get What You Want by the Rolling Stones)</p><p> </p><p>Connor Kent@farmboy500: Aww, of course, Megan would choose to sing this =). (Shares a video of Megan Morse singing the theme song from Hello Megan)</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: That’s my lady (Shares a video of Selina Kyle singing Bad Girls World by Halestorm)</p><p> </p><p>Lois Lane Kent @Armybrat1: My husband can do many things. Singing is not one of them (Shares a video of Clark Kent butchering The River by Garth Brooks.)</p><p> </p><p>Lois Lane Kent @Armybrat1: 0_0 His half-brother, on the other, had.</p><p> </p><p>Megan Morse @HelloMeganGigaFan: Wwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhooooo that’s my Boyfriend (shares a video of Conner Kent doing an outstanding job of singing One by Creed)</p><p> </p><p>Tora Olafsdotter: MycoldFeet12: My boy sing Good Ya =) (Shares a video of Guy Garner doing a surprisingly good job singing Rodeo by Garth Brooks.)</p><p> </p><p>John Stewart @MarineArchitect87: The new girl can sing (Shares a video of Jessica Cruz doing a great job of singing Dream On By Aerosmith)</p><p> </p><p>John Jones@ MiddletonPI225: Kimiyo Has a beautiful voice. (Shares a video of Kimiyo Hoshi singing the Tantara woman from Princess Mononoke)</p><p> </p><p>Shiera Saunders@NewBlackhawks1: 0_0 WTF…. Jordan can sing so bad it's good (Shares a video of Hal Jordan singing Purple Rain by Prince.)</p><p> </p><p>Carol Jordan@ OMGHPTM22: I know it’s just odd how bad he sings yet how good he sounds. (flabbergasted emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Tim Drake @ILovecoffee436: (heart eyes emoji) Steph can sing (Shares a video of a blushing Stephine Brown singing Staying Alive Beegeees)</p><p> </p><p>Renee Montoya @Ask the Question9: The Helena’s got some good pipes (Shares a video of Helena Wayne and Helena Bertinelli singing Walk This Way Aerosmith featuring Run DMC)</p><p> </p><p>Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: wwhhhoo hoooo That’s my woman (Shares a video of Kara Danvers and Karen Starr singing I Will Survive Gloria Gaynor in perfect harmony)</p><p> </p><p>Dinah Queen @ prettybird220: Time for me to show them how it’s done (Smug smirk), but first here’s Arthur Curry (shares a video of Arthur Curry singing Rockstar by Nickelback.)</p><p> </p><p>Martha Kent@TheFirstMartha1: So cute (Shares a video of Tim Drake Wayne and Stephine Brown dancing to Dinah Queen singing My Heart Will Go on by Celine Dion)</p><p> </p><p>Robinswatcher@52stoplights: Aww, these two are just ssssooo like gushingly sweet together.</p><p> </p><p>Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: They first danced to Dinah singing this song. =)</p><p> </p><p>Robinswatcher@52stoplights: aww</p><p> </p><p>Oli Queen: @ fromLianYuDao1: That is my wife (Shares a video of Dinah Queen singing her hit song Suffering Succotash)</p><p> </p><p>Sara Essen Gordan @AmItOmAnLyFoRYoU405: She really does have the voice as beautiful as a Canary’s (Shares a video of Dinah Queen singing Creep by Stone Temple Pilots)</p><p> </p><p>Dinah Queen @ prettybird220: Hehehehe, time to embarrass yourself, Brucie.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne Official: @YesIAmBruceWayne: (smirk emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Dinah Queen @ prettybird220: Why is he using his official Twitter. I have a bad feeling about this.</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: (Kitty smirk emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: FUCK ME, BRUCE CAN ACTUALLY SING (Shares a video of Bruce Wayne perfectly singing Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA)</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: My man loves Springsteen, and so do I that’s our song. =) (Shares a video of Bruce Wayne singing Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen)</p><p> </p><p>GothamIsNIght @NightisGotham: =0 He sounds just like Bruce Springsteen</p><p> </p><p>Oli Queen: @ fromLianYuDao1: The Bastard is always showing me up. =( It's not surprising he chose this as his third song. (Shares a video of Bruce Wayne singing The Vengeful One by Disturbed.)</p><p> </p><p>Metropolis@ Better Then Gotham52: WTF 0_0 Bruce Wayne he sings ok.</p><p> </p><p>GothamIsNIght @NightisGotham Metropolis@ BetterThenGotham52: Are you def Bruce’s voice is fantastic.</p><p> </p><p>Metropolis@ Better Then Gotham52: I will never admit a Gothamite is good at anything (tongue sticking out emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Jade Nguyen-Harper @IhateSportsmaster1: My little sister has are fucker of a fathers voice, well I get my voice from mom =) (Shares a video of Paula Crock belting out in her beautiful voice My Hero by Foo Fighters)</p><p> </p><p>Cassandra Wayne @quietgirl567: (Stary eyed emoji) Dad did Mom sing together it AHHHHHHEEEEEEEEE (Shares a video of Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle singing A Whole New World from Aladdin)</p><p> </p><p>Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: aww, so sweet =) (shares a video of Cassandra Wayne dive hugging her parents as they get off the stage.)</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: Crass loves the Aladdin movies right now =)</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne Official: @YesIAmBruceWayne: So we planned to sing it from the start when I agreed to sing.</p><p> </p><p>Dinah Queen @ prettybird220:  0-0 who know such a quiet girl like Crass could squee So loud.</p><p> </p><p>To be continued</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Some Bats go to Vegas and Gotham Goes Boom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After Batman is injured, bad enough to need to take two weeks off, Bruce and some friends take a two-week vacation in vegas...nervous about leaving their kids with a babysitter for the first time. Bruce and Selina self-medicate with alcohol on the plane ride.</p><p>(A lewd chapter but its no worse than chapter 2)<br/>Now edited with Grammarly plus.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>6 PM Jan 15</p><p> </p><p>Harleen Quinzel@Arkhamdoc1992: Me and my lady Pam parole are finally allowed to take a vacay outside of Gotham, so we are headed to Vegas with some friends. So with Bruce Wayne, his longtime girl Selina Kyle, Lois Lane Kent, Clark Kent, His pops Jonathan Kent, his amazing wonder woman of a wife Martha Kent, Kate Kane and her girl Renee Montoya, Carol Jordan, her hubby Hal, Helena Bertinelli, Kimiyo Hoshi, Karen Starr, Helena (error) Crystal Brown, Shiera Saunders, Diana, and Hippolyta Prince along with Jessica Cruz, Alfred pennyworth (Bruce's butler) and his longtime girlfriend Dr. Leslie Tompkins, are going to gamble the next two week away. Even better, Bruce is paying for everything and shelling out some gambles $$$$ for us. Wes will be staying in the Excalibur cants waits to hit the slots.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: Aww, I wish I was 21, so I could gambles with you guys sounds like it's going to be a crazy fun time. Say hi's to Zatanna for me.</p><p> </p><p>Harleen Quinzel@Arkhamdoc1992:(crazy grin emoji) It will be a crazzzzzzzzzyyyyyy time, little bratling. Keep Gotham safesies for us.</p><p> </p><p>Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: Steph makes sure to Listen to your babysitters.</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: We will take good care of the girls, along with Tim and Cullen.</p><p> </p><p>Jade Nguyen-Harper @IhateSportsmaster1: Yes, we will. Glade, you guys, are trusting me enough to watch them. It's also good to be living in Gotham again as no other place feels like home. Thanks again, Kate, for the apartment Will, Lain, and I are living in.</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: You're welcome. Just take good care of the girls. Well, we are away. Bruce and Selina are freaking out a bit about leaving Cassandra and Tim for so long for the first time, and I am a bit too.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: I am not freaking out.</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: Bruce love, you're freaking out, but you need to heal, so we are going to enjoy gambling. I am the one not freaking out.</p><p> </p><p>Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: You're freaking out Not-mom, you have had two double highland parks, and not-dad is actually drinking and just pored himself a second double. Please pore me one well, your up. You two are ssssssssssssssssssssooooooooooooooooooo freaking out. =)</p><p> </p><p>Karen Starr@Downgirl58: I will take a beer.</p><p> </p><p>Jonathan Kent@ FarmMan1: If it's not too much trouble, I will take one too.</p><p> </p><p>Helena Bertinelli @mobprincess1: Oh, please make me Margareta.</p><p> </p><p>Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: Ooooohhhh, that sounds good. I will take one with extra salt.</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: Make mine without extra salt.</p><p> </p><p>Pamala Isley@gothamsiren1966: Same</p><p> </p><p>Renee Montoya @Ask the Question9: Same</p><p> </p><p>Lois Lane Kent @Armybrat1: Make one for this reporter and my sick in the mud husband too.</p><p> </p><p>Martha Kent@TheFirstMartha1: One for me too.</p><p> </p><p>Harleen Quinzel@Arkhamdoc1992: I’ll take one too.</p><p> </p><p>Hippolyta Prince@GoldenAgeWoman8: A triple shot of tequila in one for me.</p><p> </p><p>Diana Prince@WomanarePowerful8: Just a double shot for mine.</p><p> </p><p>Shiera Saunders@NewBlackhawks1: Same.</p><p> </p><p>Jessica Cruz@InsideGoodFive30: I'll take a strawberry daiquiri</p><p> </p><p>Carol Jordan@ OMGHPTM22: I'll take the same as Jess. I am glad I am done breastfeeding as I can finally have a few drinks.</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: Lover, make me a strawberry lime daiquiri.</p><p> </p><p>Kimiyo Hoshi @whitelightgirl4: Same</p><p> </p><p>Leslie Thompkins @ SuperDoc457: Same but make mine with Jack Daniels</p><p> </p><p>Alfred Pennyworth@Alwaysthere16: A boilermaker for me if you would Master Bruce.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: How did I become the bartender when I have a 'broken leg'…coming right up…a boilermaker sounds good.</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: LOL, your so whipped, Dad.</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: Dick, I need you to pick me up some Tampons. I am out.</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: Yes, Babs.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: I am not the only one Old Chum =)</p><p> </p><p>Cassandra Wayne @quietgirl567: right Dads yep brother big. (Big grinning emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Harper Kane @tinkerer7withstuf: (fire emoji) burn!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Recording from Bruce Wayne's cellphone Jan 16, 10 AM</p><p> </p><p>Bruce: Cat, why are Harley and Ivy in our bed?</p><p> </p><p>Selina: Bat, we did it again. You are not allowed more than two drinks anymore.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce: I can live with that and am pined.</p><p> </p><p>Harley: Hmmmm, good morning, Fuuuuuucccckkk that was amazing. I see why you guard him so closely, Kitty cat. Can check fucking both Batman and Bruce Wayne off my bucket list. God, I still can't feel my legs. God, at least 12 inches of thick as fuck batcock blows Mista J's thing out of the water and into space in comparison. God, thanks for letin me have a taste Kitty, glade Mista J's cock is no longer not the last one that was in me now.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: It's never going to happen again, Harley.</p><p> </p><p>Pam: Hmmmmm, good morning, god, I agree. Do not worry, unlike the Wonder Bitches we used rubbers, correction, a lot of rubbers, well we fucked your husband Cat. God, I am glad Fucking Batman and Catwoman is now checked off my bucket list, too. He was far fucking better and bigger than Kiteman, and Kiteman was great in the sack. God, Hmmm, I can't feel my legs.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: Good. Good. It's never happening again. (cuddles back into Bruce's chest.) Pam, you and Harley do not get hangovers; get us Tylenol and order breakfast. God, how the fuck much did we drink.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce: More than the Rager incident.</p><p> </p><p>Helena B.: Fuck, my head hurts, keep it down…hehehehe that was fucking incredible last night. It's a shame I will never get a second chance at Bruce's gigantic fucking cock. I can check fucking Batman off the bucket list.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce: Cat, 0_0 we also fucked our daughter's favorite teacher, Just how many. Fuck there is another person on the other side of Ivy.</p><p> </p><p>Kimiko: Fuck, so that's what fucking a <strong>real man</strong> feels like. God, I can check fucking Batman off the list, and my legs are still jelly. Hmmm, someone said Tylenol, mmmm.</p><p> </p><p>Jessica: FUCK Yes, that was amazing last night! My god is Batman, even a human. He made eight grown women cum their fucking brains out multiple times with a fucking two-inch stab wound through his left thigh. Hehe hehe, we all got a taste of that big ol Batarang, too, with a massive facial. God, I have never been eaten out by a woman before. That was amazing, too, Selina.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce and Selina: …EIGHT WOMEN???</p><p> </p><p>Crystal: Ghaaa, my head did, hehe hehe hehe I got to fuck Batman. God, I see why you two go at it so often on the rooftops of Gotham. Thanks for reshaping me, Bruce mmm. Is there Tylenol?</p><p> </p><p>Shiera: ahhh (thud) I was sleep flying again. Why did you have to wake me up? Fuck, that was. God damn fucking amazing last night fucking Batman can be checked off my bucket list now, and I am glad I got to fuck Batman is amazing in the sack. I can't believe I gave him my anal virginity. Well, that's off my bucket list, too. Hmmm.</p><p> </p><p>Jessica: You weren't the only one to give that up last night. I can't believe I liked it so much, hmmm.</p><p> </p><p>Kimiko: God, I can't believe it fit in my kitty, let alone that it fit up my little butt. God, it was amazing to have it up there; well, Catwoman ate me out.</p><p> </p><p>Jessica: She did that with all of us. However, I am not sure who can eat kitty better, Bruce or Selina.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: (exasperated) I have to say Bruce does as I can't eat myself out. Yes, Bat, you're a great pussy eater. You deserve to puff your chest up. God, you are not allowed to get drunk anymore, Bat, because I do not like to share you with another woman, and I tend to want to when I am drunk. You need to be sober to say no. Harley. If you move that hand any closer to my man's cock I will hurt you.</p><p> </p><p>Harley: Aww cum on, Kitty cat. We already fucked him several times last night, can't we?</p><p> </p><p>Selina: <strong>No</strong>, you can't! You saw his tramp stamp that cock is for my use only.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone but Bruce: Stingy Batarang hog!</p><p> </p><p>Selina: Your damn strait. We may be waiting for Dick to figure it out; however, Bruce put a ring on my finger eight years ago, making it legally <strong>my</strong> Batarang and only <strong>mine</strong>. The only reason you bitches got a taste of it is that Bruce and I both were both drunk as shit self-medicating our worry away.</p><p> </p><p>Jessica: But both of the Wonder Woman got a second day of Batcock. Can't we get a second day of the same?</p><p> </p><p>Selina: <strong>No,</strong> that was before (pause) before we lost Jason. I was more playful back then. Now stop asking, or I will claw your eyes out. (bam) I warned you, Harley.</p><p> </p><p>Harley: Ghaaa, you punched me in the tit.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce: Meowstris says no. Selina is all I want and all I need. That's why I asked her to marry me eight years ago.</p><p> </p><p>Jessica: (Argh) Fine, where are our clothes?</p><p> </p><p>Bruce: Shit, my phone recording app is on. Again. I switched to a different app and did not even have it open.</p><p> </p><p>The recording ended and deleted.</p><p> </p><p>7 AM twitter</p><p> </p><p>Diana Prince@WomanarePowerful8: Bruce Wayne and his longtime live-in girlfriend Selina Kyle make interesting choices when there drunk. Sorry girls. However, this is my revenge Harleen. At least I scribbled out your faces. Just be glad I covered you up instead of changing the angle as Harleen did to me. At least this time, they used condoms. (shares a picture of Bruce Wayne with Selina Kyle draped over his chest as if saying mine, Harley Quin cuddling into his left shoulder, poison ivy his right. You can make out two women's bodies cuddled on each side of the two notorious paroled rouges.)</p><p> </p><p>Carol Jordan@ OMGHPTM22: So that's why they were not in their rooms.</p><p> </p><p>Dick Grayson@SitsOnTheChandeliers38: I can't unsee this fast enough.</p><p> </p><p>Tim Drake @ILovecoffee436: 0_0 the rooftop does not exist. The rooftop never happened. I see nothing. I see nothing.</p><p> </p><p>Cassandra Wayne @quietgirl567: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww yucky brain cleanse need I (vomit emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Helena @TrottstheEarthtwo: (vomit emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: God damn, I do not know if I should be envious or sick.</p><p> </p><p>Renee Montoya @Ask the Question9: Shit, I owe Kate twenty bucks =(</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: Happy to be twenty bucks richer and wishing I had clawed my eyes out!</p><p> </p><p>Martha Kent@TheFirstMartha1: Good for the three who had bastards for ex-husbands/boyfriend. They needed a good pounding.</p><p> </p><p>Clark Kent@farmboy1: MOM, I DID NOT NEED TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT!!!!!! (sick face emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Red Hood @gothamgoboom357: (vomiting emoji) trauma, the trauma. Wait. Ignore me. (devil smile emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Leslie Thompkins-Pennyworth @ SuperDoc457: Well, Bruce was a man-slut, again 0_0 Alfred and I tied the knot (shares a picture of their marriage license.)</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: Congratulations. Dick just fainted.</p><p> </p><p>Cassandra Wayne @quietgirl567: Grandpa married yay grandma has (angel smile emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: took you two long enough. You're moving in when we get home, and Alfred is getting a bigger room.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: I insist Dr. Pennyworth =)</p><p> </p><p>Leslie Thompkins-Pennyworth @ SuperDoc457: Given Alf will never move out. I guess I can finally move in.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred Pennyworth@Alwaysthere16: I can live with moving into a larger room, and I am glad my wife understands me so well=). I am glad you remembered to use rubbers this time Miss 'Kyle' and Master Wayne.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>5 PM A recording from Harley Quin's cellphone…</p><p> </p><p>Harley: Red. We. We. We. (thud)</p><p> </p><p>Pam: What. Oh, we got married at the same place Alfred and Leslie did (pause). Good, she is still alive.</p><p> </p><p>Jan 17 Twitter</p><p> </p><p>Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: AAAAAAAHHHHH FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(shares a video of hitting a jackpot wining 20 million on slots.) MY BABY GIRLS COLLAGE TUITION IS FULLY PAYED FOR!!!!!!!!!!! =)</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: 0_0 Can we go shopping when you get home?</p><p> </p><p>Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: Yes, however, most of this is going into savings along with your college fund.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: I'll help you get some shares in Wayne industries too.</p><p> </p><p>Crystal Brown @ FormerHenchNurse647: Thank you, Bruce, =) Don't worry, Leslie. I'll continue working at the clinic.</p><p> </p><p>Leslie Thompkins @ SuperDoc457: =)</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Harleen Quinzel Isley@Arkhamdoc1992: Red and I got married well shitfaced before we got with Bruce and Selina. Fuckin Bruce was one hell of a wedding present (big grin emoji). I decided with my shit family that I am going by Isley now.</p><p> </p><p>Pamala Isley@gothamsiren1966: Harley fainted after she found the marriage license (grinning emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Harleen Quinzel Isley@Arkhamdoc1992: (blushing emoji) Yes, I did, but it was a heck of a shock.</p><p> </p><p>Batman: @Iamvengeance27: Congratulations. I trust you two will keep keeping each other out of trouble. Enjoy the champagne.</p><p> </p><p>Harleen Quinzel Isley@Arkhamdoc1992: (Shares a picture of a bottle very old bottle of Don Perion) Thanks Batman we will =)</p><p> </p><p>Pamala Isley@gothamsiren1966: Thank you, Batman. We will stay out of trouble. I enjoy working at Sherwood florists, and as long as Bruce Wayne continues his yearly investments to environmental help groups, I will keep Harley and me out of trouble.</p><p> </p><p>11:30 PM Jan 29</p><p> </p><p>Twitter</p><p> </p><p>Red Hood @Gothamgoboom357: video: (a six-foot 18-year-old man dressed in a red helmet, body armor, and a brown leather jacket standing next to a stacked redhead woman the same size and wrapped in Amazon armor and a domino mask around the same age, with her long hair, pulled into a ponytail. She is holding a gigantic ax; you can see Gotham in the background.)</p><p> </p><p>Hello, Gotham. I am Red Hood. This is Artemis of Bana-Mighdall, The Dark Wonder Woman, and her ax Mistress. You may be wondering why my handle is Gothamgoboom. Well, this is a radio detonator and in three, two, one. (red hood clicks the button, and several explosions go off in Gotham.) Gotham belongs to Red Hood now.</p><p> </p><p>Phone call Barbara Gordan to Bruce Wayne</p><p> </p><p>Bruce: IS EVERYONE OK WE JUST HEARD WHAT HAPPENED!</p><p> </p><p>Barbara: Everyone is ok. Cherry Hill was not hit.</p><p> </p><p>Selina, Crystal, and Kate: THANK YOU, GOD!!!</p><p> </p><p>Bruce: We will be leaving Vegas in ten minutes. However, it's going to be a two-day drive to get home.</p><p> </p><p>Call ends.</p><p> </p><p>Twitter midnight.</p><p> </p><p>Bruce Wayne: @nobody197: Fuck, thanks to Red Hood, airports are all shut down for the next 48 hours, and we need to be back in Gotham before then. So I will be stuck in a car with Harley for the next 36 hours well we drive back to Gotham. At least Selina will be with me along with Kate, Renee, Alfred, Leslie, Helena, Pam, and Crystal. Unfortunately (scared emoji), Harley also won rock, paper, scissors, so she gets the first driving shift. It's going to be a long five hours. (scared emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Jan 30 an article from the Gotham gazette</p><p> </p><p>Red Hoods Reign of Terror Returns?</p><p> </p><p>By Viki Vale</p><p> </p><p>Last night a man calling himself Red Hood blew up several buildings in Gotham, from Los Mexican Cuisine to damaging every runway in Gotham. Included were several rouge hideaways and known gang warehouses. Amazingly only gangsters and criminals were injured in the explosions.(more)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Twitter12 PM</p><p> </p><p>Stephanie Brown @Empanadillasarelife647: (Shares a picture of the destroyed Los Mexican Cuisine) NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU BLEW IT UP, YOU GOD DANM EVIL SON OF A FUCKING BITCH, YOU BLEW UP THE ONE PLACE THAT SERVED GOOD EMPANADILLAS IN GOTHAM (crying emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler @SpoilerWaring4Brick: Spoiler Warning: I AM FUCKING COMING FOR YOU RED HOOD YOU MOTHER FUCKING ASS SUCKING DEAD FUCK, I AM GOING TO FUCK YOU UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Recording off Tim Drake's cellphone</p><p> </p><p>Tim: It's OK, Steph, let it out. I will help you against Red Hood.</p><p> </p><p>Stephine: (Bawling her eyes out) It's gone, it's gone, now I have to go to Blüdhaven to get good Empanadillas. Worse, our date is ruined.</p><p> </p><p>Tim: I will get us a taxi, and we will go get some Empanadillas from the Los Slices truck in Blüdhaven (pause). Well, if you would like to.</p><p>Stephine: (sniff, sniff) yes, I need a good Empanadilla right now, thank you, Timikins (smooch).</p><p> </p><p>To be continued</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Bruce wanes observations on the driving habits of his friends and family.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's a long drive back to Gotham, Bruce learns something new about his 'families' driving habits. You will never guess who the real crazy driver in the family is.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harleen Isley…</p><p>Bruce stared at one of his wife's friends Harleen Isley aka Harley Quinn she drove. This unnaturally pale blue-eyed woman who stood at five foot seven inches was hyper, perky, caffeine-addicted, a woman who was unbelievably skilled with a baseball bat, Olympic level gymnasts, and is literally insane but properly medicated. Drove… five miles under the speed limit…taking a full two-second stop at a stop sign…looking both ways as she approached an intersection…slowing down at a yellow light… …the woman who stole the Batmobile floored it threw Gotham on a wild chase with GCPD before crashing his car…drove like a nun when not running from the law.</p><p>He looked at his wife who had the same look of shock on her face as he did, so they too looked at Pamala ‘Ivy’ Isley.</p><p>“Yes, she drives like a nun most of the time, it's why I always drive us places.” Ivy just says with a smile.</p><p>“Say I am hungry that Burger King ups ahead is still open let’s get some food. I did not win nearly as much as Crystal did but I did wins so it's mha treat.” Harley says as she signals then despite the empty road looks over her shoulder before getting into the turn lane.</p><p>Who knew, most of the time Harley Quin drives like a safety cautious mother. Bruce sure did not.</p><p>Pamala Isley…</p><p>Hmm, Ivy drives five miles over the speed limit, yet still adheres to the rules of the road. <br/>Her reply to my look is: our adherence to the rules of the road is why Harley and I never get caught behind the wheel…unless we are running from you Bats.</p><p>Selina Kyle Wayne…</p><p>My wife likes to drive with the windows down when not in a convertible like the black van we rented from Enterprise, and she likes to speed, however to my surprise she is keeping to only 20 miles over the speed limit today… I have had to replace or repair the engine on her Catcycle five times and she has blown the engine on the batmobile…six times so this is quite a shock as I figured she would be going at least forty over the speed limit.</p><p>Bruce Wayne…</p><p>I do not fallow speed limits unless one of my kids is in the car, which helps me keep up my airhead routine, I also have the windows down to please my wife. So of course, I am the one who gets us pulled over. The surprising thing about both Selina and me is we have only ever had one speeding ticket each in our lives… However, Renee flashes her detective shield which I did not even know she had on her…the officer says his radar gun must have malfunctioned and let me go with a warning to keep it to the speed limit which I do. We stop at a truck stop to stretch our legs, use the restroom, get some food, and refill the gas tank.</p><p>Alfred pennyworth…</p><p>Alfred as always sticks to going ten over the speed limit on the highway. His driving is as always smooth as butter. There is a reason Selina and I let him drive us around so often.</p><p>Crystal brown…</p><p>Crystal uses the van's cruise control to keep from going over the speed limit…so that’s what cruise control was for, I always get in as a feature on my civilian cars yet never use it. She is a bit hesitant but given she does not drive much it’s not surprising.</p><p>Helena Bertinelli…</p><p>I have had to fix or completely replace the engine on her custom motorcycle seven times...her new replacement motorcycle should be finished now as she blew the engine again then had to dive out of the way when an LC-SRPG-9 took out her motorcycle…the goons who did it belonged to Black Mask and are all still in the ICU, the prospect of them having children is unclear as the swelling has yet to go down…Helena B. really loved that motorcycle as it was a gift from Selina and I when we finally accepted her into the family…great I am sounding like a mafioso. <br/>So to both Selina and myself shock, Helena B. drives five miles under the speed limit and like Harley observes all the rules of the road. When we all stare at her given, she almost had her license revoked two years ago she says this: I am not Huntress right now I am Helena Bertinelli, Gotham Academy Teacher, I need to set a good example for my students. <br/>Selina and I decide now is an appropriate time for a nap, so we cuddle up on our seats and sleep for the next five hours.<br/>We stop at a small all-night diner to stretch our legs, they have great steak and eggs. Selina is delighted to find out they have mint chip shakes and gets one, I decided to have a chocolate shake.</p><p>Leslie Tompkins Pennyworth…</p><p>Leslie Tompkins Pennyworth is a pacifist, believes there is always a peaceful resolution to things ( her exception is with the Joker who after Jason, feels the monster should be put down like in her words like a rabid dog.) she is the woman who became a second mother to me and in my eyes, she can do no wrong…so imagine my surprise when I see Alfred praying as we get into the van as it's Leslie’s turn to drive I know Leslie has a driver's license. <br/>That’s when Lessie peals out of the parking lot, hits the accelerator instead of the brake when coming to a red light…then someone dared to cut her off…never heard Leslie use that language or both sign and spoken as she again in her words “ran the young punk off Her road which the fucker was so undeserving of being on…so that’s why Alfred was praying…we all agree to never ride with Leslie behind the wheel ever again… …that was the longest five hours of my life…I would rather fight Superman with no kryptonite then let her drive…Reene is yelling that she is going to get the good doctor's drivers license revoked…and I am quietly agreeing with her. </p><p>Kate Kane…</p><p>Kate also has a led foot, it has always been worse than my own, and she has the speeding tickets and high insurance rates to prove it. However well she used to drive with reckless abandon, now she drives like a mom in a hurry still adhering to the rules of the road.</p><p>Renee Montoya…</p><p>Reene sticks to the speed limit and reaches as if to hit the siren when she catches someone speeding, then realizes she is not on duty and in a civilian car and stops. It's very fascinating to watch as the woman is a true blue cop.</p><p>I have never been so happy to see Gotham burning in my life as after experiencing Leslie's driving this I can handle its time to get back to work.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Red hood strikes back…or why Tim Drake should not be on Morphine.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The new Red Hood continues his attacks on Gotham.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Twitter:</p><p> </p><p>Red Hood @gothamgoboom357: Warning Kiddos the New video is graphic: (video)</p><p> </p><p>(In the A video of a man in a black skull mask and an expensive suit. He is bound to an expensive desk)<br/><br/></p><p>Red Hood: This is Roman Sionis, the feared sadistic Black Mask, a major crime boss, and he has tortured many a man and woman for the sheer pleasure of it and occasionally for information. Fortunately for him, I am not a monster, and neither is Artemis. We are just simple killers. So how do we decide who gets to kill this supreme piece of puss, my Dark Wonder Woman? I know. Let's flip for it. I took this coin off Two-face himself. Mr. Dent is now in the ICU, as I gave him the same consideration he gives his victims. Now Good side, well, you’re obviously the good side of Artemis. So good side, you get to take his head off with Mistress, the bad side, I blow his head off with some C. Well, it's not C4, but something Mask here got from Lex corp that is much more powerful.</p><p> </p><p>The coin flips through the air, landing on the bad side.</p><p> </p><p>Red Hood opens the man’s mouth and shoves a ball of the substance into Black Masks mouth. He then ducktapes tapes the man's mouth shut. The pair leave the room in a hurry, and a bit of Gotham goes boom again…along with Black masks head and the entire floor of the building they were in.</p><p> </p><p>Twitter has removed this video</p><p> </p><p>Recording off the Batcoms:</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: Sorry to disappoint you, bats. But I must say I am glad that mother fucker is fucking dead and in pieces after what the son of a bitch did to my sister and started doing on me before you and Dick showed up.</p><p> </p><p>Batman: I will admit to you I am glad he is gone too. He is the only other rouge I have seriously considered killing. I almost beat him to death that night for what he did to <strong>you</strong>. It took Clark as a distraction and Dick shooting me up with enough general anesthesia to knock me out for two days to get me off Sionis. Dick thought he killed me at first with how much he had to inject into me.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: So that’s why he did not know I was Catwoman till two years ago. (laughter) we ‘broke up’ as Bruce and Selina for the first time afterward. God, how has he not thought to check for a marriage certificate? I mean, before I moved in, you spent half your time in my penthouse, and I was in the manor the other half of the time. Barbara figured out that we got married a week after the Vegas invasion of April eight years ago. We were ‘officially’ broken up at the time, but the Bat and the Cat were certainly going at it often enough on the rooftops…Bruce, once we get this new Red Hood, you're fucking me on the one building in Gotham higher than two stories we have yet to fuck on.</p><p> </p><p>Batman: Fine…it took you seven years to do it, but you finally broke me down. I will fuck you on Arkham’s roof once we catch Red Hood. Fuck….Fuck… Joker woke up and escaped. Who the fuck is that brunette. That’s your shade of purple. How dare a Joker henchwench wear <strong>that</strong> shade of purple. Cat, can I kill The Joker this time?</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: No, we agreed if Joker does not die before you kick the bucket, I get to kill him, you get to beat him into a full-body cast every time. Aww, you really liked me in purple, don’t you bat? Hmm, I will wear the costume from the long Halloween case when we do it on Arkham’s roof. We will be doing to the game where I manage to get out of trouble by bribing you with my body instead of putting me in Arkham to amend my stealing ways. It will be so much more thrilling to play that game on Arkham’s roof.</p><p> </p><p>Batman: I will wear the batsuit wore during that particular case too.</p><p> </p><p>Manhunter and Orphan: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW,</p><p> </p><p>Orphan: (most awkward Cassandra Cain/Wayne’s silence ever heard in any of the 52)</p><p> </p><p>Manhunter: (Urp) To think we were worried about you two hearing about Black Mask. We come to check to see how you both are handling the news, only to catch you two planning a rooftop sex game. Gross.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman (You can hear the Cheshire grin): Oh, Before I forget again, I wanted to tell you this during the Vegas trip, but the drunken nine-woman one-man orgy we had the first night made it too awkward to tell you. So I will tell you now. I am ready for us to make a Helena of our own Bat. Feels good to tell you that, as I have been meaning to tell you since we caught Manhunter.</p><p> </p><p>Manhunter: I DO NOT WANT TO EVEN THINK OF YOU TWO PLANING MY FUCKING CONCEPTION…FUCKING SHIT WERE IS THE GOD…NO NOT BRAIN BLEACH THAT DOES NOT EXIST BUT BOOZE DOES… KAREN, MY PARENTS ARE BEING GROSS AS FUCK. COME GET ME. I NEED TO DRINK ENOUGH THAT I FORGET WHAT HAPPENED TODAY!!!!</p><p>Orphan: SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSQQQQQQQQQQQQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE: I AM GOING TO BE A BIG SISTER?...why did you fall down, Daddy?</p><p>Batman: (you can hear the smile) I forgot how loud you can get and tripped. We will get started on that as soon as we capture Red Hood …hmm, I need to make a call… Hello Clark, how are your ears?</p><p> </p><p>Superman on cellphone: Bleeding thanks to your daughter. God, she is so quiet most of the time I can never anticipate when to tune Gotham out when she squeals like that.</p><p> </p><p>Power Woman: Were are tissues, my ears are bleeding from the little brat’s squee. How are you able to be so loud, Crass?</p><p><br/> Orphan: …I am amazing?</p><p> </p><p>Batman: What are you doing in the cave, Karen?</p><p> </p><p>Power Woman: Picking up your eldest to take her drinking. Oh, Bruce, we have been meaning to ask. Helena feels like it would make you feel too uncomfortable to ask, but we would both love it if you would take Earth two’s you’s place and give her away at the wedding. Helena, you know Earth Zero Krypto…BRUCE SINCE WHEN DID YOU BUILD A RED SUNLIGHT BAZOOKA?</p><p> </p><p>Batman: Stop hiding behind me; well, Helena is pointing that thing at you. It will hurt me too, and Helena, I would be honored to stand in for your father.</p><p> </p><p>Manhunter: KARA, STOP HIDING BEHIND DAD. I AM SO GOING TO DEPOWER YOU THE PAINFUL WAY THEN I AM GOING TO SPan…what…you… will…(hug)THANK YOU, DADDY.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: You are definitely my daughter. This is not a time for booze; it’s a time for ice cream.</p><p> </p><p>Batman: So, Karen, have you asked Clark to walk you down the aisle?</p><p> </p><p>Power Woman: No, no, that would make him way too uncomfortable.</p><p> </p><p>Superman (cellphone): I will do it if you want me to, Karen.</p><p> </p><p>Power Woman: (happy) Thank you, PAPA…shit I… sorry.</p><p> </p><p>Lois (cell): Why did Clark just faint?</p><p> </p><p>Power Woman: Well, Mama, it must have been me accidentally calling him Papa for the first time after he agreed to accompany me down the aisle…shit.</p><p> </p><p>Lois (cell): Oh, that’s right, the Earth-2 Clark and I raise you to form what age 10? …why are his ears bleeding? You can call me Mama in private if you want Karen, but I am too young to be your mother otherwise.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: Crass squeed again.</p><p>Lois: That will do it.</p><p> </p><p>Orphan: Chat in kitchen… ice cream now…please.</p><p> </p><p>Batman: We are not going to celebrate with store-bought ice cream. We are going to celebrate at The Cats Cream. Thankfully, that was not blown up. The kids and women of Gotham would have lynched red Hood before we even got home.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: Bat, you know that glare does not work on me. You built me an ice cream store for our first wedding anniversary. What did you think I would name it.</p><p> </p><p>Gotham, Park Row, Crime Alley February 13<sup>th,</sup> 11 PM</p><p>Recording off Robins W-phone.</p><p> </p><p>Robin: I am following up on a possible lead on Red Hood. However, the snow is picking up. I will have to call and let Batman and Catwoman know I will be staying at (Batarang flying thunk)…come out into the light.</p><p> </p><p>Red Hood: Little Robin, I was born in Darkness; I did not see the light until I was a man, and by then, it meant nothing to me. But I will indulge you, Robin. Now allow me to introduce myself, Mr. Drake, I am Red Hood, and I am Batman and Catwoman’s reckoning. So my little Replacement Robin, let’s see how well you fight.</p><p> </p><p>Robin: YOU ARE THE BASTARD THAT MADE MY GIRLFRIEND CRY!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Red Hood: Oh, that’s right, your dating (sound muffled by a train passing by). Spoiler, she is next.</p><p> </p><p>Robin: (bow staff extending) I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU BEFORE I LET YOU TOUCH HER YOU…YOU…YOU… NOOB!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>(Epic fighting sounds, the sound of bones breaking is heard more than once.)</p><p> </p><p>Red Hood: Well, you fight well, Replacement; your anger has made you slopy, made you fight with everything you have. The fight cost me little. Your anger cost you your left arm and several of your ribs. I would like to break you as my teacher broke The Bat years ago. However, we have company. What’s that Replacement? I can hear your response because I just slit your throat. However, know this you did impress me and are worthy of that armor. (thud, camera click.) Now, Mr. Grayson, you have two options, you can either chase me or save the boy. However, I think we both know what you will do now what you could not for Jason Todd Wayne.</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing: (angry) Next time Red Hood, you won’t be fighting someone green like Robin. You will be fighting me. Hold this on your throat, Robin. I will get you to Safe Haven.</p><p> </p><p>(The sound of feet pounding the pavement as Nightwing runs.)</p><p><br/>Nightwing: Timmy, I need you to stay awake.</p><p> </p><p>Robin: He used Dun Möch on me.</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing: So, he had the high ground, eh?</p><p> </p><p>Robin: Yes, he had the high ground. We should watch the Star Wars movies with the girls once we get Red Hood.</p><p>Nightwing: we will, buddy, we will just stay awake.</p><p> </p><p>Twitter…11:45 PM February 13<sup>th</sup></p><p> </p><p>Red Hood @gothamgoboom357 to Batman: @Iamvengeance27: You could not stop me at ACE, and your failure has once again cost you a little robin. Your next failure will be Nightwing. The last was first, and the first shall be last. Tom Jones. (Shares a photo of Robin bleeding from the throat.)</p><p> </p><p>Batman: @Iamvengeance27: I will find you, and I will stop you.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: @IAmTheNight1: No, Bats, WE will find him, and WE will stop Him.</p><p> </p><p>Red Hood @gothamgoboom357: Hello Mrs. Catwoman, I thought you would chime in, know this. I will use a crowbar on the first, as was used on the second.</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing @OutofBatmansShadow368: Don’t worry, Catmom, Batdad, the third Robin lives at the Safe Haven.</p><p> </p><p>Gotham, February 14<sup>th, </sup>1 AM</p><p> Recording off Nightwing’s coms</p><p> </p><p>Red Hood: (The click of a gun’s hammer) I knew you bugged me in the alley, Mr. Grayson. Ah like father, like son, you came to deal with me alone. Maybe I poisoned my knife. The Joker wore the Hood before me, and he loves his poisons. Perhaps this is an antidote for what I put on the blade. See if you can take it.</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing: If you’re trying to whelm me, it's not going to work. From what we have gathered, you hate The Joker; you’re trying to draw him out by using his old nom de ger. Also, the word is your rules state no selling drugs to kids, Robins 14 I dought you would poison him. Saw your tweet to Batman. I guess you’re a coward, as I thought you would be using a crowbar on me. Oh, by the way, how come you did not respond to my reply.</p><p> </p><p>(Click of a gun’s hammer being unlocked sounds then two thuds and the ruffling of cloth)</p><p> </p><p>Red Hood: Oh, by the way, how is Miss Gordan? Wait, no, this is where my teacher told me Batdad would say shut up and fight. So, let’s see how good you are with those little sticks.</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing: You’re going to fight me with two crowbars… That’s a first. Wait, why did you mention a Miss Gordan?</p><p> </p><p>Red Hood: As you can see in the video, my Dark Wonder Woman gave Batgirl the same treatment my teacher gave The Bat. Thirty minutes ago, well, you were running the Replacement to the Thomas and Martha Wayne free clinic.</p><p> </p><p>Nightwing: I WILL KILL YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>(Epic-sounding fight, bones breaking.)</p><p> </p><p>Red Hood: You are better than you were a year ago. You managed to break some of my ribs. Too bad I shorted out the taser function on those little sticks, or you would have won. However, you must have been whelmed by something for you lost, for I broke your leg, your ribs, and your right pinky.</p><p> </p><p>Twitter… 4 AM</p><p> </p><p>Tim Drake @ILovecoffee436: (shares a photo of a white wall with a painting of a flowerpot.) I am at Gotham General got in a bad car accident with Babs and Dick and am on Morphine, and this may be the Morphine talking, but. Does anyone else see the giant coffee bean that is threatening to eat us? Steph says there is no coffee bean. However, she was given something to calm her down after she saw me and freaked out and says it’s a Giant Empanadilla that’s trying to eat us. Well, Barbara, who has a morphine allergy and is on Dilaudid, says it’s a gigantic Habanero pepper. Well, Dick (also Morphine) says it’s a gigantic chocolate chip cookie. All we know for sure, whatever the thing is, it wants to eat us, but we can’t formulate a plan to take it down till we know what it is, so we are all sitting very still.</p><p> </p><p>Kate Kane @ArmyBrat7: There is nothing there.</p><p> </p><p>Harper Kane @tinkerer7withstuf: 0_0; …You guys took way too many pain killers.</p><p> </p><p>Cassandra Wayne @quietgirl567: Big nothing their bother is.</p><p> </p><p>Helena Bertinelli @mobprincess1:There is nothing there, and we are almost there.</p><p> </p><p>Alfred Pennyworth@Alwaysthere16: How are you sending us tweets when I have your phone?</p><p> </p><p>Tim Drake @ILovecoffee436: I signed onto Twitter using Stephine’s phone…I love Stephanie big ass…going to marry it one day. (smiley face emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Selina Kyle @Alley-cat197: Tim sweety, there is nothing there, put the phone down before you embarrass yourself more.</p><p> </p><p>Tim Drake @ILovecoffee436: Ok, mom. Morphine good for pain, but I do not like it. It makes it hard to think, and it makes me see gigantic coffee beans that want to eat me. NNNNNOOOOOO, the gigantic coffee bean, is now trying to eat off Stephine’s big butt. Leave the Big Ass alone, you evil coffee bean of death. You’re dealing with me now, coffee bean of death. I will save her glorious jiggly goodness, which is more beautiful than the full moon. For the Jiggly on the woman I love, you're going into the coffee grinder, and I will drink you up till there is nothing left of you but grinds!!!!!!!! AVENGE ME TWITTER IF THE BEAN MANAGES TO DRINK ME BEFORE I CAN GET IT IN THE COFFEE GRINDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MUST SAVE WIGGLY AND JIGGLY!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Tim Drake @ILovecoffee436: Crystal Brown, here I managed to get Stephine’s phone from Tim. However, he now has a broken nose from diving headfirst into my daughter's ass (embarrassed emoji). My daughter now has a broken leg from her boyfriend crashing into said ass. she is also raving that she will eat the gigantic Empanadilla before it can eat her Timykins abs. (sweatdrop emoji) Kids today. I got it all on video. (evil smile emoji)</p><p> </p><p>To be continued.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Nicknames and Punchlines</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The girls talk about the nicknames their men have given their bodyparts and some new rouges are introduced.<br/>Now edited with grammerly.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>February twitter 20<sup>th</sup> 3 PM</p><p> </p><p>Punchline @BetterthenHQ1: Hmm, what’s with all the frowny faces, Gotham? You should be smiling, for the Laughing Savoir is back.</p><p> </p><p>Harley Quin@JokerGagesonBmansGFC1999: You’re the brunette that helped the Jackass get out of the Coma Ward. Take it from someone who knows; Joker is not a savior, not some anarchist hero. He is a small psychotic, clinically insane little man who thinks he is more than he is… plus he is tiny where it counts.</p><p> </p><p>Punchline @BetterthenHQ1: Not in love with him, he is my god of chaos, I am his unworthy servant, my body is not a worthy vessel for his seed. I would never sully his body with my mortal flesh. He has hookers for that.</p><p> </p><p>(Punchline real-world thoughts: Ewww, he is an old man. Plus, it does not work anymore after Hawkwoman repeatedly smashed her mace into it, but mostly he is an old man)</p><p> </p><p>Harley Quin@JokerGagesonBmansGFC1999: Oh, honey, he has his hooks in you far worse than he ever had them in me. Do you have the tits to meet me at the Gotham roller rink at 12 AM tonight?</p><p> </p><p>Punchline @BetterthenHQ1: I’ll be happy to take your head and deliver it to chaos chosen Messiah, see you then toddles. (crazed grin.)</p><p> </p><p>Text from Harleen Isley to Selina Wayne and Pamala Isley</p><p> </p><p>Harley: I need yous two’s help tonight. I’s gots a lead on the brunette bitch who busted out Dickhead.</p><p> </p><p>Kitty cat: When and where. Also, you’re not wearing the jester shit. I have got a better and more protective costume for each of you both, courtesy of my husband.</p><p> </p><p>Wife: What’s wrong with my outfit?</p><p> </p><p>Kitty Cat: You’re both on parole still, and your outfits are way too fucking recognizable. Welcome to the Birds of Prey. We have the snacks of Martha Kent.</p><p> </p><p>Harley: (drool face emoji) Says when’s the group going to be meeting up again? Aint we starting in on Glitter Force?</p><p> </p><p>Kitty Cat: As soon as wiggly, Jiggly, and Babs get out of the hospital.</p><p> </p><p>Wife: If the outfit does not suit my tastes, I will be wearing my costume. I don’t care about parole. I can't pull off a Bat or a Cat motif. What do you mean by Wiggly and Jiggly?</p><p> </p><p>Kitty Cat: (kitty grin) hehehehe My son nicknamed each of Stephanie’s ass cheeks Wiggly is the left cheek Jiggly is the right.</p><p> </p><p>Harley: LMAF…</p><p> </p><p>Wife: Giggle Oh …how…man of him.</p><p> </p><p>Kitty Cat: -_- Ivy, you call Harley's ass the Apple of Your Eye.</p><p> </p><p>Wife: That’s different!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Kitty Cat: I call Bruce cock his Big ol Batarang, and in his secret files, he calls my ass The Kitty’s Tail…then again, I do have a couple of kitty tail plugs (naughty grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Harley: Is that why you sometimes looked like you had a stick up your ass when you two caught Asshole and me 7 years ago? You had a cat tail plug up your butt for after patrol rooftop action?</p><p> </p><p>Kitty cat: … Yes.</p><p> </p><p>Wife: I KNEW IT. THAT’S THE REAL REASON YOU HAD A TAIL ON YOUR FIRST TWO COSTUMES WASENT IT…how the fuck long have you two been fucking?</p><p> </p><p>Kitty cat: As Bruce and Selina or BatCat?</p><p> </p><p>Harley: As BatCat, of course.</p><p> </p><p>Kitty cat: (naughty kitty grin) Since the first time I hit The Roman’s penthouse, I felt bad about running his investigation. He doubled back after I scratched Falcone’s face. He ended up catching me in the mob boss’s safe. I said I would let him in this kitty’s kitty if he let me get away with the loot. He was really wound up tight that night, and I think that’s why he said yes. The masks stayed on, and he got a lot more than my kitty. =) I had about 20,000 in cash and gems. It Did not work when he caught me stealing from Cartier Gotham, so I gave him that nice beauty mark on his chest and was the first of the rouges to bleed him. A few nights later, I stole a jade lion from some yakuza, and I really wanted the Big ol Batarang again. So after we fought off some ninjas, I made the same offer to my surprise. He said yes. I stole a diamond and pearl neckless from a socialite and made the offer. He said no, and then I asked if I returned the neckless could we fuck. He said yes. So I learned pretty quickly that I get to keep the loot and get Bats Big ol Batarang when I stole from criminals. (wide grin emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Wife: Wait. Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle Wayne started dating halfway through year two… THAT’S HOW YOU TWO FIGURED OUT EACHOTHERS IDENTITY ISNT IT. YOU REALISED HE WAS BATMAN FROM HIS GIGANTIC COCK AND HOW HE FUCKED YOU! I KNOW YOU WERE NOT DATING ANYONE DURING THOSE FEW TEAM UPS WE HAD BEFORE YOU KICKED MY ASS DURING THE HOLIDAY MURDERS…and you crashed through the window with Batman when we were about to kill Falcone…did not stop Harvey from pulling the trigger.</p><p> </p><p>Kitty Cat: (blush emoji)… Yes, that’s how we figured out each other’s secret identity. However. When I started dating Bruce after Johnny Vito’s wedding, I was not fucking the Bat. We did not get the chance to fuck when we both hit Falcone's safe, either. He had to meet Gordan and Dent. I have always been loyal to Bruce, and he has always been loyal to me. We had not fucked as BatCat for three months despite the fact that we were working together. That was a long FRUSTRATING three months. We actually blurted out our alter ego's name in shock halfway to glory. We knew we could not deny it and did not stop. Hehehehe, I happened to have my catsuit in my bike, and I informed him of this little fact.</p><p> </p><p>Harley: You fucked him in the fabled Batcave the next day, didn’t you.</p><p> </p><p>Kitty cat: No, we fucked in the cave that night. After I retrieve my costume, we played a few unmasking role-play games that night too. We also fucked in every corner of the cave from the trophy cases, armory, on the batmobile, up against the Bat computer (grin emoji). I could not walk the next day. That was the first time I got to eat Bruce’s cooking too.</p><p> </p><p>Harley: Was that the first time you fucked him in the Batmobile.</p><p> </p><p>Kitty cat: No, we fuck in every Batmobile the night he gets them. That night I said he fucked me ON the Batmobile. As in, we did it on its roof on top of the back end, and I took it up the ass on the hood. Make sure you delete this fucking text.</p><p> </p><p>Harley: Oh, wait, you two need to be at the Gotham roller derby tonight at midnight. That’s where I am confronting this Punchline bitch that helped the Joker Escape.</p><p> </p><p>Kitty Cat: Diana will be on standby in that invisible plane of hers in case Dark WW shows up.  That Redhead is a heavy hitter, and she broke Babs spine like a twig. Amazons have few weaknesses, so it’s better to have an Amazon or Kryptonian on hand to counter one. I had to go toe to toe with Wonder Woman once when she was mind-controlled, I was in my Hellcat Power armor and still wound up with a few broken ribs and a busted arm. Hehehe got her back three years ago when I made her eat my ass as Bat took her virgin ass. =)</p><p> </p><p>Wife: Kinky, how is Babs? I can make a plant that could fix her spine if need be.</p><p> </p><p>Kitty Cat: She will walk again. But it’s going to take her at least a year of physical therapy before she can get back in costume. She is going to focus on being Oracle for now. Gordan admitted he knows without admitting he knows the same with Sara. They said they are proud of their girl.</p><p> </p><p>Harley: OK, wes gets to the roller rink at 10 PM to set up.</p><p> </p><p>Wife: Wait, you and Bruce have been married for eight years. Why did it take so long for you to move into Wayne manor?</p><p> </p><p>Kitty Cat: Because shit was crazy as fuck at the time.</p><p> </p><p>Wife: When are you putting that on the market?</p><p> </p><p>Kitty Cat: I am not. It’s one of our safe houses.</p><p> </p><p>Titans/Young Justice/Birds of Prey private chatroom</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler: I am SOOO BOARD BABS IS SLEEPING AND I CAN’T SNEEK OUT OF THE ROOM TO SEE TIMMY TIGER.</p><p> </p><p>Troy: How are Wiggly and Jiggly doing?</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler: board and bruised.</p><p> </p><p>Artemis: OK, what… who Wiggly and Jiggly? Are they new cats or something?</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler: (proud emoji) NO THERE MY ASS CHEEKS (grin emoji) Timmy nicknamed them well he was crushing on me before his balls dropped, and he asked me to the gala. Wiggly is the left cheek Jiggly is the right. (big smile emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Miss M: Cute. Conner calls my girls The Adjustable Wonders.</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler: Why?</p><p> </p><p>Miss M: Because I can make em bigger whenever I want to (superior smile)</p><p> </p><p>Super G: BITCH.</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler: BITCH.</p><p> </p><p>Artemis: BITCH.</p><p> </p><p>Troy: LUCKY LITTLE GREEN BITCH YOU CAN HAVE BIG KNOCKERS WITHOUT THE GOD DANM BACK PAIN THAT COMES WITH THEM!!! I HAVE A FREAKING HEALING FACTOR, AND MY BACK STILL HURTS FROM THE WEIGHT OF MY TITS.</p><p> </p><p>Miss M: (Mphaw) Being a shapeshifter has advantages. What are you complaining about, Kara? You’re likely going to have big ol honkers Like Keren when you fully mature.</p><p> </p><p>Super G: ggggrrr I know, but that bitch Power Woman makes me feel flat every god damn time I see her and will continue to until my Supergirls grow up.</p><p> </p><p>Artemis: At least I got a leg, man, hehehe he calls them the Gates to Paradise, and of course they are (tongue stick out emoji)</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler: Why do we always end up talking about sex? Virgin here it’s the topic I do not know much about as I have yet to have any.</p><p> </p><p>Magic Girl: The Author is a man. That’s why we often talk about our sex lives. Well, that is the lucky bitches who have a sex life.</p><p> </p><p>Miss M: Steph, it’s not a bad thing that you have yet to have sex, you’re not ready for a baby, and it's better if you practice abstinence.</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler: That’s why I am not having sex. Well, my Timmy tummy would take responsibility. Cat-sensei and Bats said they would make sure we could provide for a baby, and moms hit the massive jackpot in Vegas, we would still be taking care of it, and we are not ready. Well, I want to be a mom one day. I want to be a doctor first.</p><p> </p><p>Troy: IF you do have sex, make sure you use rubbers and use a spermicidal lube. Your mom has you on the pill, right?</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler: Yes. And I am not easy =). You guys still planning on voting for the Big Bad Bat next year?</p><p> </p><p>Troy:  Ya I am voting Bat</p><p> </p><p>Super G: Yep</p><p> </p><p>Miss M: Yep…</p><p> </p><p>Artemis: Yep, by the way. Speaking of mom’s, today's mom’s surgery, so Spoiler, I’ll bring ya a pint of Chocolate marshmallow and Babs a pint of Mint chip from The Cats Cream. Funny, Selina and Barbara’s favorite ice cream is the same.</p><p> </p><p>Troy: We will all be there</p><p> </p><p>Super G: Got that right Estrogen Solidarity1 all the way.</p><p> </p><p>Miss M: Got that right. Carol says she will get the ice cream.</p><p> </p><p>Twitter:</p><p> </p><p>Artemis Crock@IHateSportsmaster2010: Jade and I are at Gotham general now as Mom's surgery is today (teary emoji). Every one of the Magical girl watchers Club showed up. (Shares a picture of the large group crowded around Pala Crock’s hospital bed as she is waiting for her to be wheeled into the operating room. The gurney is right next to one occupied by Barbara Gordan. Karren Starr and Helena Wayne are now included in the group.)</p><p> </p><p>Iris Allen@OfficalcitizenNP4: Of course, we showed up your one of us.</p><p> </p><p>Hippolyta Prince@GoldenAgeWoman8: Like we would think not to support you Artemis Estrogen solidary for life, and long life to The Magical Girl watchers club. How the hell did Barbara convince the hospital to roll her out on a Gurney? I do not know.</p><p> </p><p>Barbara Gordon @Sassyladyquips359: You can thank Bruce. He gave a big ass donation to Gotham general. God, I am glad to be dating Dick Grayson (big grin emoji), not just for his name =).</p><p> </p><p>Jade Nguyen-Harper @IhateSportsmaster1: god, where did you guys get this ice creWHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING HERE!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Frank @IAmaHouSeplanT1: Who showed up…WHO SHOWED UP!</p><p> </p><p>Recording off Artemis Crock's phone</p><p> </p><p>Artemis: What the fuck are you doing here (venom), Dad?</p><p> </p><p>Jade: You got some giant basketballs to show up here, especially with most of the Leagues' big guns. You also got two pairs of heat vision eyes pointed at each of your fucking balls right now, dad.</p><p> </p><p>Karen: It’s a tiny target, but I can hit it.</p><p> </p><p>Kara: More like microscopic, but I can hit it too.</p><p> </p><p>Crusher: I am just here to drop these off. I know I am an irredeemable bad man who left your mother to her fate and killer for hire, but I still care about Pala’s and you girl’s wellbeing. Your mother still likes lilies, right?.</p><p> </p><p>Artemis and Jade: Yes.</p><p> </p><p>Diana: We will make sure she gets them; however, I am throwing you out of here. Remember to tuck and roll.</p><p> </p><p>Renee: Your lucky I can’t pin anything on your ass Sportsmaster, or we would be striping you naked, scanning you for anything you could use to escape, and zip tying the hell out of you.</p><p> </p><p>Diana: (cheerfully) Artemis, Jade, do you two have anything to say to your father before I send him out of Gotham?</p><p> </p><p>Jade: You’re a grandpa, and if you ever come near my fucking daughter, I will kill your ass dead, Bye daddy.</p><p> </p><p>(Crunch)</p><p> </p><p>Crusher: My balls.</p><p> </p><p>Artemis: Fuck off, dad, I ever see you in the field. I am taking these off with an arrow…one of my exploding ones!</p><p> </p><p>(Crunch)</p><p> </p><p>Crusher: Going to pu… aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.,</p><p> </p><p>Kara: Great distance, Diana. He landed in Gotham Bay. Ewww, he just vomited…</p><p> </p><p>Harper: So how did it feel to kick your bastard of a father in the nuts, girls?</p><p> </p><p>Jade and Artemis; (grinning) Very Therapeutic.</p><p> </p><p>Crass: So, Big Sis, Have you set a wedding date?</p><p> </p><p>Helena: Once the Red Hood business is concluded, we plan to set the date. However, I was hoping to wait till Babs can walk as I want her as a bridesmaid.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: Who is going to be your maids of honor?</p><p> </p><p>Helena: I was thinking Helena B.</p><p> </p><p>Helena B: WHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...Sure ya I will be your maid of honor.</p><p> </p><p>Karen: My assistant is going to be mine. However, I was hoping you would be one of my bride’s maids, Lois?</p><p> </p><p>Lois: …sure</p><p> </p><p>Helena: I was hoping for the same thing, Not-mom, same you too, Not-aunt Kate.</p><p> </p><p>Kate: I am in.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: … I…I…I would love to dear not-daughter of mine (you can hear the grin)</p><p> </p><p>Tim: I heard there was an ice cream bar…</p><p> </p><p>Dick: Babs, what are you doing out here?</p><p> </p><p>Babs: (sassily) Watchin Wonder Woman pitch Sportsmaster into Gotham Bay and eatin ice cream. And I am out of ice cream, so get me more mint chip Boy Wonder.</p><p> </p><p>Steph: Get me some more Chocolate Marshmallow Timmykins, and I will put Wiggly and Jiggly in your lap.</p><p> </p><p>Tim: (grin) Chocolate marshmallow coming right up.</p><p> </p><p>Crystal: I am watching you, boy.</p><p> </p><p>Tim: I have told you many times I am not a horndog.</p><p> </p><p>Steph: and I AM NOT FUCKING EASY MOM!</p><p> </p><p>Crystal: Language, young lady, It’s you I trust, Steph. Tim, you, on the other hand, are a Thirteen-year-old boy, you think with your smaller head.</p><p> </p><p>Dick: Here’s your mint chip Babs. Crass, I got you some more strawberry, chocolate marshmallow for Stephine, and vanilla for Tim.</p><p> </p><p>Babs: I see you helped yourself to some chocolate ice cream. Like father like son a.</p><p> </p><p>Dick: Says the woman who enjoys the same ice cream as my father’s girlfriend.</p><p> </p><p>Babs: what can I say? Your father’s wife in all but law has excellent taste in ice cream.</p><p> </p><p>Dick: WHAT! Selina, did you and dad get married during your Vegas trip?</p><p> </p><p>Harley: Bird boy, you're telling me You did not know that your adoptive mother and father have been married for eight years.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: GODDAMIT HARLY WE WERE WAITING TEN YEARS TO SEE IF THE TWO BOY WONDERS WOULD FIGURE IT OUT!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Tim: I taste eggplant purple (thud)</p><p> </p><p>Dick: I taste Redhead (thud)</p><p> </p><p>Steph: How the hell did Tim figure out all of Gotham’s hero’s identities but not that his adoptive father was married to his adopted mother. Why the fu… are you smiling Babs?</p><p> </p><p>Babs: HEhehe, I won the fucking bet one mill cold into my college fund.</p><p> </p><p>Selina: Babs, Bruce already fully paid for your college education, so that’s one mill for you. How the fuck did you know to bet on Harley blabbing the full secret?</p><p> </p><p>Babs: Always bet on crazy (you can hear the grin)</p><p> </p><p>Selina: Shit, is that the time Harley, Pam, Diana we got to leave.</p><p> </p><p>Diana: Hope that bitch shows up. Amazons from Bana-Mighdall are a bunch of uptight, uppity bitches. Why are you all looking at me like that? ...I am uptight, but I am not Uppity.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone: (Laughter)</p><p> </p><p>Birds of prey com lines…</p><p> </p><p>Harley: Hmm, I like my new suit sexy yet bulletproof with just the right amount of cleavage showing ooowww and silk-lined, as you always say kitty cat Me-ow. (Harley in her DCeased outfit plus a red and black domino mask and baseball bat).</p><p> </p><p>Ivy: OK, your husband did not design these, did he? You did. (Ivy in her New 52 outfit with a utility belt and domino mask shaped like two leaves connected at her nose) I agree with you. Harls sexy yet bulletproof, although I am rather glad my girls are fully protected.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: Yes, I designed them. If both of you stay on your meds, you get to keep them. It's game time, girls. She brought friends. Fuck; Ivy, it’s that sixteen-year-old-looking plant clone of yourself you created. Holly, what the fuck are you doing here?</p><p> </p><p>Poison: (cheerful) Hi Mom, are you surprised to see me? (Think green classic poison ivy)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Holly: The Name is Jagger now, and I came to skin a cat if she gets rabid or uppity. (Holly is wearing Maggie Kyles catsuit from Earth Whatever)</p><p> </p><p>Ivy: Poison Isley, I am both surprised and disappointed in you.</p><p> </p><p>Punchline: Ahh, the Messiah of Laughter’s old love box and her wife. Bonus, we get the Bat’s slut. I am here. You wanted to talk, so let’s talk. I also knew you would bring backup, so I brought some of my own. You can call us the Gotham City Sirens.</p><p><br/>
Harley: Look, you all need to leave The Joker. He is not good for any woman, he once beat the shit of me, threw me in a rocket, and I crashed in Robertson Park. Thankfully Selina was there with Ivy and had the brilliant idea to take me to a mental hospital in Metropolis. Then they got me on an excellent med regiment. They got me into The Sanctuary when Pam went in for what the Riddler made her think she did. I want to do the same for you guys before Joker makes you cross the line.</p><p> </p><p>Punchline: Oh, silly old hag, I am not Mr. J’s girl; I am his acolyte. He knows he hits me, and I will cut him (grin). I Have been his acolyte for two years; Holly and I distracted you, Catwoman when the little Robin was beaten and then went Ka-Boom. However, we got a nice heavy hitter with us. You will survive, miss Cat, thanks to a deal with Red hood. However, she is going to kill the rest of you.</p><p> </p><p>(crash)</p><p> </p><p>Dark WW: Mistress is thirsty for blood. You Jagger, you get to play with the Catwoman, but you try to kill her, and I will kill you before you can blink.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: (Smirk) We planed for you. (frown) Holly, I am going to fuck your ass up for the part you played in killing my son.</p><p> </p><p>Jagger: I have gotten much better since you were teaching me all those years ago. Had you taken my place, well, I slipped away, I would not have helped kill your son. Instead, you caged this Cat and became a goody, good.</p><p> </p><p>Catwoman: Ungrateful little uppity bitch, we got you on Task Force X instead of getting the needle for the 237 people you killed. You paid your debt and got your fucking freedom, and you’re throwing it away for something so petty as I did not love you enough to reveal Catwoman’s identity to the world. Because I did not love you more than I love Batman. I am not even that petty. Diana, your dance partner, is ready and waiting for you. Holly, to quote my husband with a bit of a twist: Shut the fuck up and fight you little cunt.</p><p> </p><p>(Crash)</p><p> </p><p>Wonder Woman: Hello, your Artemis right, let's see if Bana-Mighdall’s training standards have improved any. Judging by that ax, you must be overcompensating.</p><p> </p><p>Dark WW: Oh, I was hoping you would show up Wonder Woman. I always wanted to test myself against Diana of Themyscira. Mistress will love drinking your sweet half god blood. (licks Mistress)</p><p> </p><p>Wonder woman: That is so disgusting and unhygienic. You're definitely uppity.</p><p> </p><p>(Epic fight BOP and Wonder Woman VS the GCS and Dark Wonder Woman.)</p><p> </p><p>Wonder Woman and Dark Wonder Woman</p><p> </p><p>Wonder woman: I am surprised you're still conscious you fought well Artemis of Bana-Mighdall’s bout you still need seasoning before you can hope to challenge me properly. You're what 17-18?</p><p> </p><p>Dark WW: I am eighteen, man’s prison can’t…what are you holding?</p><p> </p><p>Wonder woman: A meta-human restraint collar. This will negate your Amazonian powers rendering you a normal human. (click).</p><p> </p><p>Wonder Woman: What are you smiling about?</p><p> </p><p>Dark WW: (Grin) you Themiscuran Amazons are all so arrogant. This was never about me beating you. This was all so Red Hood capturing him…The Joker.</p><p> </p><p>To be continued…</p><p> </p><p>1: I Wish I could take credit for coming up with this line, but I stole it from Chris Dee the author of the great BatCat stories entitled Cat-Tales.</p><p> </p><p>I am also likely not using Uppity right but I just like using the term.</p>
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